Accessions Shelf No.
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i
% THE
VV-.O MAN
Aater.
<tAs it hath beene lately Acled by
the Children of Tat*/es.
LONDON
Printed, and are to be fold
by John Hodgtts in Paules Churchyard. 1607.
The Prologue.
Entlemen, Inductions we out of date y and a Prologue in Verfe is its Hale, as a blackc Feluet Cloake% and a Bay Garland : Tbere- \ fore you fhall haue it plaine Profe thus ; if there be any amongH you, that come to he are lafciuiom Scenes y let them depart : for I doe pronounce this > to the <utter difcomfort of all two peny Gallcrie men, you fhall haue no bawdrieinit : or if there bee any lurking amongH you in corners, with Table bookcsjxho haue fome hope to find fit matter to feede his ■■ mallice
en, let them clajpe them vpy and jlinke away, or flay and be conuerted • For he that made this Pky> meanes to pleafe Auditors fo, as hee may bee an K^iuditor him* felfe hereafter y and not pur chafe them xcith the deare loffe of his eares : I dare not call it Gomedie, or Tra- gedie \ 'tu perfectly neyther : Pi ay it is, which was meant to make you laugh \ bow it will pleafe you, is not written in my part : For though you foould Itke it t9 day , perhaps your felucs know not how you fyould dif gefl it to morrow : Some things in it you may mtete with , which are out of the common Roade : a Duke there is , and the Scene lyes in Italy , as thofe two
A 2 th 'mges
The Prologue*
thinges lightly wee neuer miffe. But you jhtll not find in it the or dinar ie and ouer-wirn: trade of ieaftingat hordes and Courtiers, ani Citizens , without taxation of any particular or new vice by them found out , but at the perfons of them: fuch, he that made this, think es vile \ and for his owne part vowesj^That hee did neuer thinke, but that a Lord borne might bee a wife man%and a Cour- tier an honefi man.
The
The Woman Hater.
Ac TVS I. SCENA I.
Enter DhI\c ofMlUwe^rrigo, iMcio^nd two Courtiers.
Is now the fweeteft time for fleepe, the night is fcarcefpent^r/g^what's a clocke ?
w/0t. Paftfoure. D#^.Is it fo much, and yet the morne not yp2 See y oder where the mamfae'd maide comes Into our fight,how gently docth Ihee Aide, Hiding her chafte cheekes,like a modeft Bride, With a red vaile of blufhes^as is fhee, Eucnfuch allmodeft vcrtuous women be. Why thinkes your Lordfhip I am vp fo foonc? Lucio. About fome waightie State plot. Duf^ And what thinkes your knighthood of it? xArr. Idocthinkc, to cure fome ftrange corruptions ia thecommon wealth.
Y'are well conceited of your felues, to tliinke I choofe you out to beare me company In fuch affaires and bufmeffe of ftate: But am not I a patterne for all Princes, Thatbrenkemy fofte flecpeformy fubi'ecls good? Am I notcarcfull?very prouident? Luc. Your grace i« care full, iAyyl Veryprouident.
<DnhK. Nay knew you how my ferious working plots, Concct ne the whole cftates of all my fubiects, I and rheir lilies*, then Lnc'.o thou would!! fweare, I were a lonirtg Prince; ' J,
A 3 lucio. I
¥ he Woman Hater.
Luck. Ithinkcyour grace intendes to walke the pub- liquellrectes difguifed,tofee theftrcctesdiforders. Duke. It is notfo.
ufrrig. You fecrctly will crofle fome other ftates, that doc coufpirc againft you.
Dukf* Waightierfarre: « You are my friend es, and you mall haue thecaufc$ I breake my fleepes thus foone to fee a wench.
Lucio. Yarc woundrous carcfull&r yourfubjecls good* \
Arrig. You are a very louing Prince in deed.
This care I take for them,when thcirdull eyes, Are clos'd withheauic flumbers.
xAn. Then you rife to fee your wenches ?
Luch. What Af Maine beautie hath the power,to charme her Soucraignes eyes,and breake his fleepes ?
Duke, Sifter to CountVdloret She's amaidc Would make a Prince, forget his throne and ftatc, And lowly kneclcto her : the general! fate Of all mortalities hers to giue? As Hie difpofeth,{b we, die and liue.
Luc, My Lord, the day grow's cicerc5thc Court will rife.
Duly. W e ftay too long5is the the Vmbranoes head as wee commaunded/ent to the fadde Gondayinoyom gcnerall *
dir. Tisfcnt.
Duk; But ftay, where (nines that light ? *Anig. Tis in the chamber of L*\*vclh. {Duke. LdTfdrdlo? what is he ?
Amg. A Courtier my Lord, and one that I wonder your grace knowes not .-for he hath followed your Court, and your laft predeceflbrs, from place to place, any time this feauenyeare,as faithfully as your Spits and your Drip- ping-pans haue donc,and almoft as greafely.
®uk$ O we knowe him as we haue heard : hckeepes a kallender of all the famous difhes of mcate, that haue bin in the Court,euer fince our great Graundfathers time*, and when he can thruft in at no Table, hce makes his meatc of that.
iMcio The
The Woman \ Hater.
lucio The very fame my Lord. ^ -A Courtier cal'/t tliou him ? Belceuc me Lucio jherc be many fuch About our Court, refpected, as they thinke, Euen by our felfejwith thee I will be plainer We Princes do vfe,to prefer many fornothing^and to take particular and free knowledge3almoftin the nature of ac- quaintance of manyswhome we do vfc only for our plea- fures,and do giue largely to numberes', more out of polli- cy,to bethoughthberall,andby thatmeanes to make the people ftriue to deferue our loue > then to reward any par- ticular defertoftheirs,to whome we giue : and doofuffer our felues to heere Flatterers,more for recreation Then for loue of i t3though w e fildomc hate it : And yet we know all thefe,and when we pleafe, Can touch the wheclc,and turne their names about.
La. I wonder they that know their ftates fo well,£hould fancie fuch bafe flaues.
®ukf. Thou wondr eft Z#«0, Do'ft not thou thinkc,ifthou wertDa^of Ttiillainc, Thou fhould'ft be flattered ?
Luciol knowemy Lord J weuldnot.
Euh?. Why fo I thoughttill I was Duke, I thoughtl fiiouldhaue left me no more FlattererSjthen there are now plainc-dealers*, and yet for all this my refolution, I am mart palpably flattered :thc poorcman may loath coue- toufnes & flattery, but Fortune will alter the minde whe the wind eturnes : there may be well a little conflict, but it will driuc the byllowcs before it.
drrigo it grow's late,for fee faire Thetis hath vndon the bares To fbtbus teamesand his vnriual'd light, Hath chas'd the mornings modefl: blufli away : Now muftwc to our loue,bright Vtpbtin Quecne? Thou Cythcrcjn goddlTe, that delights In ftirring glaunccs,and art full thy felfc, More toying thec^thy teame of Sparrowes bee; T hou laughing Emcin* O infpir e
The Woman Hater.
Her heart withloue^or lcflinmy defirc.
Exeunt*
Sce na 1 1.
Enter Ld\drelfa and his Boy. La?v Goerunnc/earch, pry in euery nookcand Anglo of the kitchins, larders,r.nd pafteries,know whatmcate's boylM, bak'djioiijiljvvV^fnde, or fows'd, at this din- ner to be fem'd direclly5or indircclly,to euery fcuerall ta- ble in the Court, be gone.
By. I runncjbut not fo faltps your mouth will doe vp- on the ftroakc of elcuen. Exit $oy.
La^. What an excellent thing did God beftoW vpon man,whenhcdid giuehim a good ftomackc ? whatvn- bounded graces there arc powrd vpon them, that hauc the continuall command of the very beft of thefe blcf- fings ? Tis an excellent thing to beeaPrince,hccis feru'd with filth admirable varietie of fare*, fuch innumerable choifcof delicates, his tables are full fraught with moft nourifl^ing food e,& his cupbords heauie laden with rich wines*, his Court is (till filled with moft pleafing varie- ties: In the Summcr,hispallaceisfulofgrccne geefejand in Winter,itfwarmeth woodcockes,
0 thou GoddeiTeof plentie
Fill me this day with fome rare delicates,
And I will euery ycarc moft conftantly,
As this day celebrate a fumptuousfeaft,
If thou wilt fend me victuals in thine honor,
And to it fhall be bidden for thy fake,
Euen al the valiant ftomacks in the Court :
Allfhoit-cloak'd Knights>& al crofle-garterd gentlemen
Allpumpe andpantofle, foot-cloth rid crs*
With all the fwarming generation
Of long ftocks,fhort paind hofe, & hugeftufPddublets<
All thefe fhal cate,and which is more then yet
Hath ere bee ne feene,thcy fhallbe fatisflcd.
1 wonder my Ambaflador returncsnot/ Enter Boy
Boy
Tte Woman Hater.
Boj. Here I am Maifter. And welcome: Neuer did that fweete Virgin in her fmocke, Faire chcekd ^ndromefltjwhen to the rocke Her yuorielimbes were chain de,and Itraight before A huge Sea monfter,tumbling to the flioarc, To haue deuourcd her,with more longing fight Expecl the comming of fome hardy Knight, That might haue quel'd his pridc,and fet her free, Then I with longing fight haue look'd for thee.
Boy. Your ftrfeusis come Ma(tcr,that will deftroy hiin* The very comfort of whofc prcfcncc fliuts The monftcr hunger from your yelping guts
La^at Biicfe bcy5biiefe5d:fcourfcthcferuiceof eachfe- ucrall Table compendioufly.
Boy. HercsaBillofallSir.
La\<*. Giucitmce, A Bill of all the feu erallfcruices this day appointed for euery Table in the Court: I, this is it on which my hopes rely e'> Within this paper all my ioyes arc clos'de ; Boy open it,and read it with rcucrcnce*
By. For the Captain of the Guards Table,three chyncs of Beefe,and twojolls of Sturgeon*
La^A. A portly feruice,but grofle^grofTe, proceed to the Dukes owneTable,dearc boy to the Dukes owne Table.
Boy. For the Dukes owne fable,the head of an Vmbrdn*.
Ld\4, Is'tpofsible / can Heauen bee fo propitious to the Duke ^
Boy. Yes, He aflurc you Sir, 'tis pofsiblc, Heauen is fo propitious to him.
L*:*. Why then he is the richeft Prince aliuc: He were the wealthieft Monarch in all Europe, Had he no other Tcrritories Dominions^rouinccs^eats, Nor Pallaces,but only that Vmbranaes head.
Boy. Tis very frciri and fweet fir, the fim was taken but this night, & the head as a rare noueltie appointed by fpc* cialicoinandementfor the dukes own Tablets dinner.
B U\*. It
The Woman Hater.
La\a. If poorc vn worthy I may come to cat
Of this mo A facred difh,I here do vow (If that blind hufwife Fortune will beftow But meanes on me) to keepe a fumptuous houfe, A board groning vndcr the heauie burden of the beaftes that chewcth the cudde, and the Fowle that cuttcth the ayre: I mall not like the table of a countrey Iurticc, bc- fprinckled oucr with all manner of cheapeSallets, fliced Bcefe,Gib!ets,and Pcttitocs,to fill vp roome, nor mould there ftand any great, comberfomc, vncut vp pyes at the nether end fill'd with moire and Hones, partly to make a fhew with,and partly to keepe the lower meiTe from ea- ting, nor mall my meat come in fneaking like the Citric- feruice, one dim a quarter of an houre after one another gone,as if they had appointed to meet therc,and had mi- uooke the houre,nor mould it like the new Court feruicc come in, in haft, as if it faine would be gone againc, all courfesatonce, like a hunting breakefaft, but I would hauemyfeuerallcourfes,and my dimes welinTd.my firft courfelhould bee brought in after the auntient manner, by afcore of old blcere-ey'dc Seruingmen,inlong blewc coates, (marry they mall buy filke, facing, and buttons themfelues)but that's by the way.
Sloj. Maifter the time call's on, will you be walking*
Uxit Boy<
Ld^4, Follow boy,follow,my guts were halfe an houre lince in the priuie kitchim Exeunt.
Scbna Tbrtii. Enter Counts And his fister Qridtu.
Orid. Faith brother I muft needs goe yonder. Count * And y faith filter what will you do yonder. OrU. I know the Lady HmorU will be glad to fee mce. Count. Glad to fee you, fay th the Lady HomrU cares for you as &c doth for aU other young Ladies, fliecs glad to
fee
The Woman Hater.
fee you,and will fhew you the priuie Garden,and tel you how many gow nes the DuchefTe had:Marry if you hauc eucr an old vncle, that would be a Lord, or euer a kinf- man that hath done a murther,or committed a robberiej and will giue good ftorc of money to procure his par- don, then the Lady HouoyU will be glad to fee you.
Grid. I, but they fay one lhall fee fine fights at the Court.
Count . He tell yon what you fhall fee,you fhall fee ma- ny faces of mans making, for you fhall find very fewc as God left them : and you (hall fee many legges too ; a~ mongfl the reft you (hall behould one payre , the fcete of which,werc in times paft fockeleffe, but are now through the change of time ( that alters all thinges) very ftrangely become the legges of a Knight and a Courtier: another payre you fhall fee, that were heire ppparant legges toaGlouer, thefe legges hope fliortly to bee honourable 5 when they pafle by they will bowe, and the mouth to thefc legges, will feeme to offer you Ionic Courtfliips it will fweare, but it will lye, hearc it not.
Orid. Why,and are not thefe fine fights ? Count. Sifter.in ferioufneffe you yet are young And faire.a faire young maid and apt. Orid. Apt?
Count. Exceeding apt,apt to be drawne to. Ovid. To what?
Count. To that you fhouldnotbe,'tisnodifpraife, She is not bad that hath defire to ill, Butflie that hath no power to rule that will : For there you fhalbc woed in other kinds Then yet your yeares haueknowne,the chiefeftmea Will feeme to throw themfelues As vaiTailcs at your feruice,kifle your hand, Prepare you banquets,ma ;kes,{hewes,ali inticcments That wit and luft together can deuife, To draw a Ladic from die ftate of grace
B z To
The Womn Hiter.
To an old Lady wyddowes Gallery 5 And they will prayfe your vertues, beware that, The only way to turne a woman whore, Is to commend her chaftitic : youlc goe?
Grid. I would goe,if it were but only to (hew you, that I could be there, and be raou d with none of thefc trickes,
Coat. Your feruants arc ready?
Orid An hourc fince
Cont. Well,if you come off cleerc from this hot fcruicc, Your praife mail be the greater. Farewell Sifter. Orid, Farewell Brother.
Cont. Once morc,if you (lay in the prcfence till candle- light,kecp on the forefide oth' Curtainej & do you h care, take heed of the old Bawd, in the cloth of ThTue-flecues, and the knit Mittins* Farewell Sifter. Exit O/ti.
Now am I idle, I would I had bin a Schollcr, that I might aftudicd now: the punifhmcntof meanermen is, they haue too much to doc •> ouronely mifcrieis,that without company we know not what to doe 5 1 muft take fomc of the common courfes of our Nobilitie j which is thus : if I can find no company that likes mee,plucke off my Hat- hand,throw an old Cloakeouer my facc,and as if I would notbeeknownc, walkehaftely through theftreetcs, till I be difcouered j then there goes Counte fuch a one, faye* one', there goes Counte fach a onc,faycs another : Looke how faft he goes,fayes a third j there's fomc great matters m hand queftionleue, fares a fourth 5 when all mybufi- Bcffe is to haue them fay fo : this hath bcene vfed •> or if I can find any compauic, He after dinner to the Stage, to fee a Play, where, when I firft enter, you fhail hauc a enurm irein thehoufc, euery one that does not knowe, cries, what Noble man is that* all the Gallants on the Sta^c rifc,vaylc to me, knTe their haad, offer mec their places : then I picke out forae one , whom I pleafc to gra (k among the reft, take his feate, vfeit, throvv my cloake oucr my facerand laujh at him : the poore gentle* auu imagines Iumfeife moft highly grac d^thmkes ail rhc
Auditors
*The Woman Httcr.
Auditors cftecmehira one of my bofomefriendes, andin right fpeciall regard with me» Buthere comes a Gentle- man, that 1 hope will make me better fport, then ey thcr ftrectand fbgc fooleries. Enter L^arello And Boy .
This man loues to eat good meate,alwaycs prouided hec do not pay for it himfelfc :he goes by the name of the Hun- garie Camiiet \ marry , becaufc I tbinkc that name will not efficiently diftinguiQi him, for no doubt hec hath more fellow es there, his name is La^arcHo , he is none of thefc fame ordinary eaters,that will deuour three breakfafts, & as many dinners, without any preiudicc to their beauers, drinkingsorfuppers*, but he hath a more courtly kind of hunger,and doth hunt more after nouelty, then plenly,Ile ouer-hcare him.
147^4. O thou moft itching kindly appetite, Which euery creature in his ftomacke feeles O leauc,lcaue yet atlaft thus to tormcntme. Three feuerallSallets haue I facrifiz'de, Bedcw'd with precious oyle and vincger Already to appeafe thy greedy wrath. Boy. Boy. ' Sir.
l4\4. Will the Count fpeake with me.
Stoy. One of his Gentlemen is gone toenformehim of your comming Sir.
L4%4. There is no way left for me to compafTe this Fife bead,butby being prefently made knowne to the Duke*
$oj. Thatwillbchard Sir.
La^4. When I haue tatted of this facrcd dim, Then mall my bones reft in my fathers tombe In pcace,thcn mall I dye mod willingly, And as a dim be fcru d to fafisfie Deaths hunger,and I will be buried thus : My Beerc fhalbe a charger borne by foure, The coffin where I lye,a powdrina; tubbe, Beftrcw'd with Lettice,and coole fallet hcarbes, - My winding Hieet of T*mfeyestthe blacke guard Shalbe my foleraoc mourners, and in (lead
Si Of
7 he Woman Hater.
Of ceremonies/wholefome buriall prayers: A printed dirge in ryme,fhall burie me In ftead of tcares,let them pourc Capon fauce Vpon my hearfe,and fait in (lead of duft , Manchets for Itones^for other glorious fhiclds Giue me a Voydcr,and abouc my hearfe For a Trutch fword,my naked knife ftucke vp. The Count difcouers himfclfe.
Boy. Mafter,the Countis here,
L*\*. Wherc?my Lord I do befeech you.
Count, Y are very welcome fir,I pray you (land vp,yoi? {hall dine with me.
La\a, I do befeech your Lordfliip by thclouc I ftiil haue borne to your honourable houfe.
Count. Sir,what need all this ? you mall dine with me,l pray rife.
La\4. Perhaps your Lordfliip takes me for one of thefe fame fellowes,that do as it were reipcct victuals* Count . O fir, by no meanes*
La^d. Your Lordship ha's often promifed, that when- foeuer I should affect greatncfTe,your owne hand should hclpetoraifeme.
Count, And fo much ftill afTure your fclfe of.
L*\a* And though I muft confciTe,I haue euer shun de popularitie by the example of others, yet I do now feelc my felfe a little ambitious, your Lordship is great, and though young,yeta priuie Counfeller.
Count. I pray you fir leape into the mattcr,what would you haue me dee for you?
L*\4. I would entreat your Lordship to make mce knownetotheDuke. Count. When fir?
L*\4* Suddenly my Lord, I would haue you prcfent me vnto him this morning.
Count. It shall be done, but for what vertucs, would you haue him take notice of you ?
Ltqt. Your Lordship shall know that prcfently. Tis puty of this fellowjhc is of good wit,& fufficient vn«
derftan-
*Ibe Woman Hater.
<L r llading,\vhc he is not troblcd with this greedy worm.
U\*y. Faith,youmay intreat him to take notice of mee for any thing} for beeing an excellent Farrier, for playing well at Span- counter,or (ticking kniues in wallcs,for be- ing impudcnt,or for nothings why may not I bee a Fauo« rite on the fuddaine,I fee nothing againft it.
Count. Not fo fir, I know you haue not the face to bee a fauorite on the fuddaine.
L*\. Why the you fhall prefentme as a getlema wel qua- lified^or one extraordinary fecnin diuers ftragemifteries, Count. In what Sir? as howe?
U\. Marric as thus — Enter Intrlligenccr.
Count. Yonders my olde Spirit, that hath haunted mee daily,euer fince I was a priuie Counfellor, I mud be rid of him,! pray you flay there,I am a litle buific,I wil fpeak with you prefently.
L*\*r. You fhall bring mee in, and after a little other talkc^takingmeby the hand, you fhall vtter thefe wordes to the Duke: May it pleafe your grace, totakenote ofa gentleman, wcllread, dcepely learned, and throughly grounded in the hidden knowledge of all Sallets and pothearbs whatfoeuer*
Count. 'Twill be rare,if you will walke before Sir,I will ouertakeyou inftantly.
LdT^ar. Your Lordfliips cucr*
Count. This fellow is a kind of Informer, one that Hues in Alchoufes, andTauerns, and becaufehee perceiucs fome worthy men in this land, with much labour 5c great cxpcncc,to haue difcouered things dangcroufly hanging ouer the State hee thinks to difcoucr as much out of tiic talke of drunkards in Taphoufes.-hee brings me informa- tions, pick'd out of broken wordes, in mens common talke, which with his malitious mifapphcation , hec hopes will feeme dangerous , hee doeth befides bring mee the names of afi the young Gentlemen in the Citie5 thatvfe OrdinarieSjOr Taucrns,talking(to my thinking) only as the freedom of their youth teach thc,without any "." further
The Worn an Hater,
further endstfor dangerous and feditious fpirfts, he is be- fidesan arrant whore-maftcr , as any is in Xf Maine, of a layman. I will not meddle with the Clcrgie, heisparcell Lawier,& inmy confcicnce much of their rcligion,Imuft put vpon him fome pcecc of feruicc> come hither Sir^ what haue you to do with me ?
Int. Little my Lord,I onely come to knowe how your Lordihip would employ me,
Csnt. Obfcrued you that gentleman, thatparted from me but now*
Int. I favv him now my Lord.
Cant. I was fending for you, I haue talked with this ma> and I doe find him dangerous.
Int Is your Lordihip in earneft ?
Csnt. Harke you fir, there may perhaps be fome within earc-lhot. He wbifycrs with him*
Enter Lazarelio and his Bay.
L*\. Sirrha will you venture your life, the Duke hath fent the fifh head to my lord ?
Boy* Sir if he haue not,kilme,do what you will with mc
La\. Ho w vncertainc is the ftate of all mortal! things? I haue thefe Croffes from my Cradie,from my very Cra- dle,in fo much that I doe begin to grrowe defperate : For* tunc I do defpife thee, do thy worfr, y et when I do better gather my felfe togethc^Ido find it is rather the part of a wife man,to preucnt the ftormesof Forcune by (lining, then to furfer them by ftanding ftill, to power therafelues rpon his naked body. I will aboutit.
Csnt. Who's within there ? Enter aSerumg-man
Let this Gentleman out at the backedorc, forget not my inftruclionSjifyou find any thing dangerous; trou ble not your felfe,to find out me, but carrie your informations to the Lord Lucojnc is a maa grauc and well experienced in thefe bufincflcs.
Int* Your Lordlhips Seruant* Exit Intelligencer and
l^. Will it pleafc your worfliip walkc ? Seruingman.
C*ut. Sir I was comming,I willoucr-take you.
La$l
The Woman Haters
Ld\*r. I will attend you ouer againft the LoxdGmfofc jwwhoufe.
Count • You fhall not attend there long» (gin head La\- T hi ther mud I to fee my loues face, the chafl^ir* Of a aecrc Fifh,yet pure and vndeflowred, Nofrknownofmanjnobred rough country hand, Hath once toucht thce,noPandars withered pawf Noranvn-napkind Lawyers greaficfift, Hath once ilubberd thee:no Ladies fupplehand, Wadit o re with vrinc,hath yetfeiz'd on thee With her two nimble talentsmo Court hand, Whom his o wne naturall fil th,or change of aire, Hath bedeckt with fcabs, hath niard thy whiter graces O let it be thought lawfull then forme, To crop the flower or thy virginitie. Exit £<flj<*»
dunt. This day 1 am for fooles,I am all theirs, Though like to our yong wanton cockerd heircs, Who doe affect thofc men aboue the reft, In whofe bafe company they ftill are beffc Jdoe not with much labour ftriue to be The wifeft euer in the company: Butfor a foole^our wifdom oft amends, As enemies doe teach vs more then friends* Exit. Ctitot* fmtitAciui primi.
ACTVS 11+ SCBNA I.
K*ttr Gonlmno tndbuftYftdnts,
My Lord: GonJ. Ha.
[ Seru. Here'sonehathbroughtyouaprefcnt.
Qond. From whom,from a woman? ifitbeftom a wo* man, bid him carrie it backe , and tell her fhees a whore: What is it?
Seru. A Fish head my Lord.
Gina. What Fish head?
ton, I did not aske that my lord,
c em>
The Woman Hater.
Gm t. W isn:e ci xiz\ it J $Vr. From the Court. Cmj/. O fis a Cods-head.
Sbu. No my Lord/tis fomcflrange head, it comes from the D a Ice.
Gmd. Lctit be carried to my Mercer , I doe o we him money for filkes,ftop his mouth with that. Exit Sew. Was ther euer arty man that hated his wife after death but I? and for her fake all women, women that were created onely for the preferuation of little dogges. Enter Sens*
Sen My Lord, the Counts fitter beeingouertakenin the ftrects,with a great hail e-ftorme $ is light at your gate* and defires Rome till the ftorme beouerpall:*
Gond. Is fliee a woman ?
Sew. I my Lord I thinke fo.
Can L I haue none for her thcn:!>id her get her gonc,tci her (hce is not welcome.
Sew. My Lord,fliee is now comming vp#
Gond. Shec irull not come vp3tell her any thing ,tdl her I haue but one great rooms in my houfe , and I am no w in it at the clofe ftoolc.
Seru. Shee's here my Lord.
Gmd. O impudence of women, Icankeepc dogs oat of my houfe , or I can defend my houfe agamft thecucs^ but I cannot keep out women.
Enter QrimisrraimrwmJttidftd* f dge. No w Mad amj what hath your Ladifhip to fay to me ?
O/ia. My Lord , I was bold to craue the helpe of your hou(e againft the ftorme*
Gond. Your Ladimips boldnefte in comming , will bee impadencein lhying,for you are mod vnwelcorac.
0/i4ru. Oh my Lord/
Gmd. Doe yoa laugh, by the hate Ibcarc toyou,tis true.
OrUn. Yarc merry my Lord.
Gmd. Let me laugh to death if I bee, or can bee whilfl tUo-j art harbor liucftpr any of thy fexc.
The Woman Hater.
Own*. I commend your Lordflhip.
Gond Doc you commend me? why doc you commend me?Igiueyouno fuchcaufc: thou art a filthy impudent whorcia woman,a very woman.
Orid. Ha3ha,ha.
Gond. Begot when thy father was drunke.
Onan. Your Lordfhip hath a good wit*
Gond. How?whatIuueIgood wit?
Oridtj. Come my Lord , I hauc heard before of your Lordihips merry vaine in jetting againftour Sexe,which I beeing defirous to heare , made mee rather choofe your Lordfhips houfe, then any other , but I know I am wel- come.
Gond. Let me not Hue if you bc:me thinkes it doth not become you,to come to my houfc, being a ftrager to yoiu I haue no woman in my houfe , tocntertainc you , nor to fliew you your chamber \ why ftiould you come to me? I haue no Galleries ,nor bancjucttinghoufes, nor bawdy pictures to fhewe your Ladifliip.
Oridti. Belecuemc,this your Lordmrps plainncs makes me thinkc my fclfe more welcom, then if you had fwornc by all the prettie Court oathes that arc ,1 had beenc wel- comer then your foulc to your bodie*
Gond. Now (bee's in talking,treafon will get her out, I durft fooner vndertake to talkc an Intelligencer out of the roome,and fpeake more then he durft hearc , than taikc a woman out of my company. Enter 4 Seradnt,
Seru. My Lord,the Duke becing in the ftrcets,and the ftorme continuing , is cntrcd yoar gate , and now com- niingvp.
Gond* TheDuke/ now /know your arrant Madame*, you haue plots and priuatc meetings in hand: why do you choofe my houfe,arcyou aiharnd to goe too'tin the oldc coupling place,Though it be lefle fufpicious here for no Chriftian willfufpcft a woman to be in my houfc,yetyou may doc it cleanlier there, for there lsacarehadofthofc bufiacflcs 1 and whcreloeuer you renhoouCj your great
^ he Woman Hatir.
mamulncr and you flial hauc your lo dgings dire&ly op.
Sofitc, itisbutputtingonyournight-gownc, andyouc ippers»,madame,you vnderftand me? Otitm Before I would not vndcrftand him, but now he fpeakes riddles to me indeed*
Enter the Duke* ^rrig9,4nd Lhciu f>u\c. T\vas a Itrange haile-florrae* £hc o. T'was exceeding itrange. G md. Good mo row to your grace. D*'\e. Good morrow Gondmnv* Gond. lufticc great Prince.
Diik$. Why mould you begge for juflice , I ncucr did you wrong^whats thcorfendor? GW. A woman.
Luke. O I know your auncient quarrell againfi: that fcxcjbutwhathainous crime hathmee committed? Gond. Shee hath gone abroad. Dnkf. What? it cannot be.
Gond. Sheehathdoneit. (before.
Dxke. How? I neuer heard of any woman that did fo
Vond, Ifflieehauenot laid byr thatraodellie That mould attend a virgin,and quite voide Of iliamcjhath left the ho ue where ll*ee was borne, As they mould neuer docjlet me endure The paines that (lice should furfcr.
fDttkr- Hath shec fo ? which is the woman 5
CW. This,this.
Dif^f. How AirigotLuch?
G^nd. I then it is a plot,no Prince alius Shall fo rce me make my houfe,a brothel houfcj Not for the finnes,butforthe womansfake, 1 will not haue her in my doorcs fo long: Will they m ike my houfcas bawdy as thciro.vacarcf.jj
(Duty. Is it not Oruns i
Lucia. It is.
®uk?. SifhrtoCountr*/^
The ver/jfam^ r - ■ "*
The Woman Hater.
Dukf. Shecthatlioue? I Luao. Shee that you loue. Qukf. I doc fufpcct. Luao. So doc I.
Dak?- This fellow to be but a counterfeit, One that 3oeth feemc to loath all woman kind, To hate himfelfe,becaufe he hath fome part Of woman in hinv,feemes not to endure To fee,or to bee feene of any woman, Onely,becaufe he knowes it is their nature To wish to tafte that which is mod forbidden : And with this show,he may the better compafif (And with farrcleile fufpition)his bafeendes,
Lucio* Vpon my life 'tis fa.
Qukg. And I doe know, Before his flaine wife gaue him that oftence* He was the grcateft feruant to that fexc, That euer was*, what doth this Lady here with him alone?, why mould he raile at her to me ?
Lucia. Becaufe your grace might not fufpccl. Duke. T'was fo:I doe lone her ftraingcly, I would fameknow the truth:counfel mc. They ywhifta
Ento' Count Xar^rclk, and bis boj. Count. It falls out better then we could expeel: Sir, that we mould finde the Duke and my Lord Gondarine toge- ther^both which you defiretobc acquainted with.
La\m. T was very happy: Boy, goedowne into the kitchin,& fee if you can ipie that fame*, I am now in fome hope: 1 haue me thinkes a kind of feauer vpon mc, Exit Boy.
A ccrtaine gloominefli within me , doubting as it werei betwixt two pafsions*, there is no young maidc,vpon her wedding nignt , when her husband fcts firflfootin the bedde, blushc5,and lookes pale againe,oftner thcnldoc ao w*Th«cJS«oPoccacc|uajnted with more shakings Sc
c3
The Woman Hater.
t.iakingc$,towardes the latter end of this new play,\vhen hee's in that cafe, that he ftandes peeping betwixt the cur- taines, fo fearefully,that a bottle of Ale cannot be opened, but he thinkes fome body hiflcs, then I am at this inftant.
Count. Arc they in confultatio,if they be,either my yong Duke hath gotten fome baftard, and ispcrfwading my knight yonder, to father the childe, and marne the WcnchjOr elfe fome Cock-pit is to be built.
Ld\d> My Lord?whatnoble mann's that?
Count. Hisnameis Lncio,Xis hee thatwasmadcaLord at the requeft of fome of his ffiendes for his wiucs fakc,hc af- fects to bee a great States -man^and thinkes it confides in night cappcs,andiewels, and tooth-pikes?
L*\*» And whats that other?
Count. A Knight Sir, that pleafeth the Duke to fauour, & to raifc to fome eKtraordinarie fortunes, hee canmake as
f ood menashimfelfe, euerie day in the wceke and oth—
SJ6(4. For what was he raifed.
Count. Trucly Sir,I am not able to fay dire£tlie,for what; but for wearing of red breeches as I take it, hecs a brauc man, hee will fpend three Knighthood es at a Supper without trumpets*
La\a My Lord iletalke with him, fori hauea friend, that would gladlie recciue the humour,
Oiwr.If he haue the itch of Knighthood vppon him, let him repaireto thatPhifition,hce'le cure him : but I will giue you a note^is your friend fatorlcane?
Ld%4. Something fat.
Count* T'will be the worfe for him. \ hope thats not material.
Contt Veric much, for there is an impofte fetvppon Knighthoodes,and your friend fhall pay a Noblcm the pound,
(fake* I no not like examinations, Wc lliall find out the truth more eafilie, Some other way Uflcnotcd,andthatcourfc,
Should
The Woman Hater.
Should not be vfde,till wc becfurctoprouc
Something dircctlic,for when they pcrcciue Themfelues fufpe&ed,thcy vvjU thenprouide More wariiic to aunfwere.
Luc. Dorh llie know your Grace dothloue hcr»
Duke She hath ncucr heard it.
Luc . T h en t h u s n 1 y L o rd *> Thy wksfper 4g*int+
La%4. Whats hec that walkcs alone fo fadly with his handes behind him?
Onnt. The Lord ofthchoufe,he that you define to be acquainted with, hec doth hate women for the fame caufe *hatl louethem. L*\*. Whats that? **Cmt. For that which Apes want: you pcrcciue me Sir? Ld^a. And is hec fad,can hec be fad, that hath fo rich a genimevnder his roofers that which I do follow? What yong Ladies that?
Count. Which: Hauel mine eye fight perfect, Tis my filter, did I fay the Duke had a baftard? what mould Hie make here with him,and his Councellj meehathno pap- ers in her hand, to petition to them, fncehath neucr a usbandin prifon,whofe rclcafc foe might fue for: Thats afinetricke for a wench*, to getteher husband clapt vp* that fliemay more freely, 6c with lelTe fufpition,vifite the priuatc ftudics of men in authority* Now J dodifcouer their confultatid,yon (ellow is a Pandar without al falua- tionjBu-tlet mec notcondemnc her too rafhly, without waying the matten iliees a young Lady, Shee went foorth ca che this morning with a waiting woman, and a Page,or fo : This is no garden houle,in my confciencc £hee went forth with no diihonelt entente for me did not pretend going to any fermon in the further end of the Cittie: Neither went me to fee anicoddeolde Gentle- Woman, ehatmournes for the death ofherhusband;orthe lofleofher friend, and mutt haue young Ladies come to • comfort her: Thofe arc the damnable Bawdes, Twas no fee meeting ccrtainclic; for there was no wafcr-wo*
rapum
7 he Woman Hater.
man with her, thefc three daics, on my knowledge : He talke with her : Good morrow my Lord,
Cond. Yarc welcome Sir : hcr*s her brother corne now to doc a kind office for his fifter, is it not ftrange?
Count* I am glad to meet you here Sifter.
0)74. Ithanke you good Brother : and if you doubt of •fthccaufcofmy comming,Ican Sanifle you.
Count. No faith,I dare truft thee, I doe fufpecl: thou art honcft,for it is fo rare a thing to bee honcft amongft you, that fotne one man in an age, may perhaps fufpeel fomc two women to be honeft,but neuer belecue it Yenly „
Luci Let your returnc be fuddainc.
Arru Vnfufpec"tcd by them,
$)uk? ItuSall, fo ihalibcftpcrcciuc their Loue, if there beany, FarcweU
Count. Let me intreat your grace to flay a little, To know a Gentleman, to whome your fclfc Is much beholding, he hath made the fport For your whole Court thefc 8. ycarcs,on my knowledge.
Dttkz Hi$name£ . Count. Jjtiprdh*
Dul{. I heard of him this morning, which is he ?
Count. L*\mllo> pluck vp thy Spirits, thy fortunes art now raifing, the Duke cals for thceP and thou fhalt be ac- quainted with him.
L<trKd. Hc'sj^oing away, and I mud of nccefsitic ftaj here, vpon bufmes.
Count. Tis all one, thou /halt know him firft.
La%4. Stay a little, ifheefhould offer to take mee away with him, and by thatmcancs Ifhould loofc that I fceke for,but if he fhould,I wil not goe with him.
Count. U\ayAU the Duke ftayes,wilt thou loofc this op* portunitic?
La\4. How muftlfpeakctohim*
Count. T was wcl thought of:you mull not talke to him, as you do to an ordinary maajioncfl plainefenccs6utyou ouift wiwdc about hm ; for example; if hec foould aske
The Woman Hater.
yon what a clocke it is, you muft not fay if it pleafe you* gracc,tis nine.but thus 5 thrice three a clocke,fo pleafe my SoueraignCjOrthus'jlosjke how many mufes there doth Vpon the fvveet banckes of the learned Well', (dwell, And juftfo many flroakes the clocke hath ftrookc, And fo forth, and you muft now & tken enter into a de- fcription. L*\a> I hope I /hall doe it.
Count. Come: May it pleafe your grace to take note of a gentleman,well feene,deepely reac£& throughly grou- ded in the hidden knowledge of all fallets and pothearbs whatfoeuer.
Duh^ I flialldefiretoknow him more inwardly.
La\a. I kiiTe the Oxe-hide of your Graces foot.
Count, Very well: will your grace queftion him a little ?
Dul^. flow old are you ?
La\4. Full eight and twenty feuerall Almanackcs Hath been compyled,all for feuerall yeares, Since firll I drew this breath,foure prentifhips Hauel mod: truly ferued in this world: And eight and twenty times hath Phoebus carre Runnc out his ycarely courfe fince.
2>«^ IvnderftandyouSir.
Luci. How like an ignorant Poet he talkes.
Dukj You are eight and twenty yeare old? what time of the day doe you hold it to be?
Ld\<t. About the time that mortals whet their kniucs On threfliolds.on their (hot foles,and on ftayrcs: Now bread is grating,and the tefty cookc Hath much to doe now,now the Tables all.
&uf{. *Tis almoft dinner time?
L^Tfd. Your grace* doth apprehend me very rightly.
Count. Your grace fhal find him in your further cofcrece Graue,v ife,courtly, 5c fcholler likc,vnderftadingly read In the necefsities of the life of man. He kno wes that man is mortall by his birth* He kno wes that men muft dye.and therefore liuej
D He
The Woman Hater.
He knowes that man muftiiue,and therefore eate, And if it (hall plcafcyour grace, to accompany your felfe with him, I doubt not,but that hee will at the lead, make good my commendations.
Duk* A ttend vs L^rdlo, we doc want Menoffuch Attion,as we haue recciued you Reported from your honorable friend.
H\4. Good my Lord ftand betwixt mce and my ouer- throw, you know'l am ti'd here, and may not depart, my gracious Lord,fo waightie arc thebufmcs of mine owns, which at this time doc call vponmec, that I will rather chufc to die, then to ncglcft them*
Count A^y you fhal wcl percciucbefides the vertucs that I haue alreadie infonn'd you ofr,he hath a flomack.which vvill ftoope to no Prince aliue.
Du\. Sir at your belt leifure,Ifiull chiril to fee you.
L*\a> And I /hall hunger for it.
S>uf^ Till then farewell all.
Con. Count. Long life attend your Grace.
Dukj I doc not taft this fport, ^imgo3 Luck.
*Ay. Luch Wc doc attend. Exeunt Duh^^rrigo^luci^,
Cond. His grace is gone,and hath left his Bellcn with me, I am no Pander for him, neither can I bee wonne with the hope of gaine, or the itching defireof tafting my Lordcs lecheric to him, to keepe her at (my houfe) or bring her in difguife, to his bed Chamber. The twyn es of Adder s ,and of S corpions About my naked brcft, will fceme to mee More tickling then thofe clafpes, which men adore*, The luftftiil, dull, ill fpirited embraces Of women^ the much prayfed Amines, Knowing their owne infirmities fo well, Made of themfelues a people,and what men They take amongft them, they condemnc to die, Pcrceiuing that their follie made them fit To hue no longer, tha.t would willingly Come ia the wortMejTcprefenccofaw^ffian*
Iwill
7 he Woman Hater?
I will attend,and fee what my young Lord wiU doc With his fifter.
Inter Ld^drelfces Boy* Bey. My Lord*, the fifh head is gone againe.
Count. Whither.
B§y . I know whither ray Lord.
Count. Keepe it from Ld^trdlo: Sifter fliatl I conferrc With you in priuatc, to know the caufc of the Dukes coraming hirhcr, I know he makes you acquainted with hisbufincs of State.
Or'ta. He fatisfie you brother, fori fee you areielous ofmcc.
Gond. Now there fhali bee fome courfe taken for her
conueiance.
L*\d. L*%drello>thou art happie,thy carriage hath begot loue, and that louc hath brought forth fruitcs, thou art here '.'ii the company of^a man honourable, that will helpe thee to tall of the bounties of the Sea, & when thou haft fo done, thou (halt retire thy felfc vnto thcCourt,& there taft of the delicates of the earthy and be great in the eyes of thy Soueraigne: now no more fhalt thou need to fcramble for thy mcatc,nor remoue thy ftomack with the Courf, but thy credit ftiall commaund thy hearts defire, and all nouilties fhallbc fent as prefents vnto thee:'
Count. Good Sifter, when you feeyour own time, will you returne home.
Orid. Yes brother, and not before.
Ld^d. I will grow populer in this State, &ouerthrow the fortunes of a numbcr,that liue by extortion.
Count. Ldiprcllo, beftirrc thy fclfe nimbly and fodainly, and here me with patience, to hcare.
Ld^t. Let me not fail from my felfc; fpeake I am bound County. So art thou to rcuenge, when thou fhalt hearc
the fifh head is gone,and we know not whither. Ld\. I wil not curfe, nor fwcarc,nor rage,nor raile,
N©r withcontcmpteous tonguc,accufc my Fate;
D % Though
The Woman Hater.
Though I might juftiy do it, nor will I Wifh my felfe vncrcatcd for this cuill : Shall I entreat your Lordlhip to be fecne A little longer in the company Of a man crofs'd by Fortune*
Count. I hate to leaue my friend in his extremities*
La^d. 'Tis noble in youthen I take your hand, And do proteftjl do not follow this For any mallice,or for priuat ends, But with a loue,as gentle and as chart, As that a brother to his fitter bcarcs : And if I fee this fifli head yet vnknownc, Thelaft words that my dying father fpake, Before his eye-firings brakc,lhall not of me So often beremembrcd,as our meeting, Fortune attend me,as my ends are juft, Full of pure loue,and free from feruile luit.
Count. Farwellmy Lord, I was entreated to inuitcyour Lordftiip to a Ladies vpfitting.
GonJ* O my eares, why Madame, will not you follow your brother,you are waited for by great me,heele bring you to him*
On*, f m e very w el my Lo rd ,y o u d o mi ft a k e m c> i f y o u thinkel arTeft greater company then your felfe*
Gonei. What madneffepoffeiieth thee, that thou canft imaginemeafitmantoentertaine Ladies*, I tell thee, I do* vfe to teare their haire^o kick thcm,and to twindtge their nofes,if they be not carefuli in auoiding me.
Orid. Your Lordfoip may defcant vpon your owne be- Jiauior as pleafeyou,butlprotefl:, fo fweetand courtly it appear es in my eye,that Imeanenot to leaue you yet.
Goad J (hall grow rough.
Oria. A rough carriage is bed in a man, Iledinewitk you my Lord.
G on J. Why I will ftarue thee,thou malt haue nothing.
Oria. I haue heard of your Lordihips nothing, He put that to the venture*
G W.Weil,
The Woman Hater.
G <W.Well,thou (halt haue mcatjle fend ic to thee.
Oria. He keepe no ftate my Lord;neither doe I mourne, lie dine with you.
GortJ. Is fiich a thing as this allowed to litre : What power hath let thee loofe vpon the earth To plague vs for our fumes? out of my dores.
Or/4. I would your Lordihip did but fee how well This furie doth become you,it doth (hew So neerc the lifc,as it were naturall.
Gortd. O thou damn'd woman,I will flie the vengeance That hangs aboue thee^follow if thou dar ft.
Exit Gond,v ino.
Ori*. I muftnotleauc this fellow, I will torment him to To teach his pafsions againft kind to moue, (madnes, The more he hate3,ths more lie feeme to loue.
Exeunt Or jam and Maid, Enter fandar and Mercer a citizen.
Tand. Sir,whatmav be done by art/hal be done, I weare not this blacke cloakefor nothing.
Mer. Performethis,hclpemeto this great heire by lear- ning,and you /hall want no blacke cloakes,taiTaties, iilke- grogerams, f^ttms tk veluets arc mine,they flnlbe yours $ performe what you hauc promifed,& you mail make mc a loner of Sciences,I will ftudie the learned languages, & keepe my (hop-bookc in Latine.
Vand. Trouble me not now, I will not fayle you within this houre at your (hop.
Met. Let Arthaueher courfc. Exit Mercer.
Enter Curtc^an.
Vand. *Tis well fpokcn,7kWw<i.
Mad, Haft thou brought me any cuftomers.
Tan. No.
Ttia. What the deuill do'ft thou in blacke, P*. As all folemne profeffors of fetled courfes^doe co- tier my knaucry with it : will you marry a citizen, reafo- nably rich,and vnreafonably fooliflrfilkss in his fhopp©? money in his purfe^and no wit ia his head J
D 3 Skfc.Out
The Woman Hater.
yia. Out vpon him,I could hauc bin otherwife then fo, there was a Knight fworehec would haue had mcc, if I would haue lent him but forty (hillings to haue redeem'd his cloake,to go to Church in*
V<tn. Then your waftcoatc wayter fhall hauc him, cal her in?
744. &4nc(fiir,A?
Fr, Anonc^
7d4. Get you to the Church;and {hriueyour felfe, For you (halbe richly married anone.
Tan, And get you after her, I will worke vpon my citi- zen whilft he is warme, I mnft not fufferhim to confult with his ncighboursjthe openeQ fooles arc hardly coufe- ned,if they once grow jealous. Exeunt* Finis %ABasftcm,
ACTVS HI* SCBNA L
Enter Omddrim flying the Lddy. Oond, Saue me ye better powers,letmc not fall Betweene the loofe embracements of a woman : Heauen,if my finnes be ripe gro wne to a head, And en uft attend your vengeance: I beg not to diuert my Or to repriue a while thy punishment (&tc> Onely I craue,and heare me equall heauens> Let not your furious rodd^that muft afflicl: me, Bethatimperfe&peecc of nature, That arte makes vp,woman, vnfatiate woman* Had we not knowing foules,at firft infused To teach a dirTerence,twixt cxtrcames and goods? Were we not made owr felues,frcc,vnconftn a Commaunders of our owne arTcftjons: And can it be, that this moft pcrfecl creature, This image of his maker,well fquar d man, Should lean e the handfaft,that he had of grace, To fall into a womans eafiearmes.
Enter Qtian4.
0vi4*4\
The Woman Hater.
Oridit. Now Venus be my fpeed , infpire me with all the fcuerall fubtill temptations , that thou haft already giuen, or haft in ftore hereafter to beflowc vpon our fexc-^grant thatl may apply that Phifkkc that is molt apt to workc vpon himrwhether he will fooneft bee rnoou'd with wan- ConnefTe, finging, dauncing , or beeing pafsionate , with fcorne,Oi with fad and fenous Icokes.cunningly mingled with fighcs,withfrailing,lifping^ kifsing the hand;, and making mortcurfies $ or with whatfoeucr other nimble powerjie may bee caught: doe thou infufc into mce, and when I haitc him,I will facrifice him vp to thee.
Gond, It comes againc',new apparitions, And tempting (pirits: Stand and rcueale thy fclfe, Tell why choufoiloweft me?Ifeare thee As I feare the place thou camft from: Hell.
Orian* M y Lord>I am a woman,and fuch a one-—
Gond. That I hate truely, thou hadft better bin a deuill.
Orian. Why my vnpatientLord? (women.
Gond. Deuils were once good, there they excefd you
Orian. Can ye be fo vneahejcanyetreeze,and Such a fummers heat fo ready
To difToluc^nay gentle Lord,turncnoc away in fcorne, Nor hold me leile faire then I am : looke on thefe cheeks, Tiiey haue yet enough of nature,tn;c complexion, If to be red and white,a forehead hie, An eafie melting lip,a fpeaking eie, And fuch a tongue,whofe language takes the eare Of drift rcligion,and men molt auftere : If thefe may hope to pleafe,lcokc here.
Gond. This woman with entreaty wo'd mow all, Lady there lies your way,I pray ye farewell*
Orian. Y'are yet to harm, to diffonant.
Thers no true muficke in your words,my Lord.
Gond. What fhall I giue thee to be gone ? Hcaresta,and tha wants lodging,take my houfe5tis big e- nough,tis thine owne,t'will hold fiuc lecherous Lords,& their lackics without difcouery : thers ftoues and bathing tubbcj, Qr$**4.
*The Woman Hater.
Ori*. Dcare Lord :y arc too wild,
GW. Shat haue a Doctor too, thou /hat, 'bout fixe and twentie, tis apleafing agc*> or lean hclpcthccto a hand fomcv flier: or if thou lack'ft a page,ilc giuc thec one, precthekeepe lioufc, andleaucmee.
Oris. IdoeconfefFcIamtocafie^oo much woman, Not coy enough to take affection, Yet I can frowne and nip a pafsion Euen in the bud : I can fay
Men pleafe their prefem heates;Thenpleafe to leauc vs.
lean hold off, and by my Chimmick power
Draw SonneeSjfrom the melting louers braine,
Aymees, and Elegies : yet to you my Lord
My Loue, my better feife, I put thefcoff,
Doing thatoffice, not befits our fex,
Entreat a man to loue.
Are ye not yet relenting, ha'ye bloud and Spirit
Inthofe vcines,yc are no Image, though yec bee asjhard.
As marble, fure ye haue no lyuer, if ye had,
ST would fend a liuely and defiringhcate
To euery member, is not this miferable,
A thing fo truely formd, fliaptout by Symetry,
Has all the organs that belong to man,
And working to, yet to ftiew all thefe
Like dead motions mouing, vpon wyers,
Then good my Lord,leaue off what you haue beene,
And freely be what you were fird cntended for : a man.
Gmd. Thou art a precious peece of flie damnation, I will be dea ffe, I will locke vp my cares, Tempt me not, I will not louej if I doe,
GrU. Then ile hate you. (Sunne,
Gond* Let mc be nointcd wi th hony, and turn d into the To be dung to d eath with horfe-flies, Heard thou, thou breeder, hereile fit, And in defpight of thee I will fay nothing
O U, Letme with your fairepatience, fit befideyou ?
GonJt Maddam, Ladie,tcmpter,tongue, woman, ayre,
Lookc
The Woman Hater.
L ookc to me, I (hall kicke*, I fay againe, Looke to me I fhal kicke.
Oiid. Icannot thinkc your better knowledge can vfe a woman fo vnciuilly.
G*nd. I cannot thinke, I fhall become a coxcombc, To ha my hare curl'd, by an idle finger, My cheekes turne Tabers,and be plaid vpon, Mine eyes lookt babies in,& my nofe blovvd to my hand, I fay againc I (hall kicke, fure I fihalL (mind
Qrid. Tis but your outride that you flicw : I know your Neuer was guiltic offo great a weaknes, Or could the tongues of all men ioynd togeathcr PofleiTc me with a thought of y our diflike My weaknes were aboue a womans,to fall off From my arTcc"tion,for one cracke of thunder*
0 wo'd you could louemy Lord.
Gmd. Iwod thou wouldft fit fhl^and fay nothing:what mad -man let thee loofe to do more mifchief then a doufen whirlwinds, kecpe thy hands:in thy mufTc,and warmc the idle wormcs in thy fingers ends will yeebee doing dill, Will no intreating feiue yec, no lawfull warning, I mull remoue and leatie your Ladimips nay neuer hope to fray me, for I will runne,from that Smooth, Smiling,witching, Coufening, Tempting, Damning face of thine, as farrc as
1 can find any land, where I will put my felfeinto a daily courfe of Curfes for thee, and all thy Familie.
Oruna. Nay good my Lord fit frill, ile promife peace ; And fould mine Armesvp, let but mine cycdifcourfe, Or lctmy voyce fetto fomepleafing corde,found out The fullcn ftraincs of my i-.-glecled loue.
Gond. Sing till thou cracke rhy treble ftiinginpceces, And when thou haft done,put vp thy pines and walke, Doc any thing, fit ftili and tempt me not.
Orid. I had rather fing atdores for bread, thenfing to this fello w,but for hate:if this fnould be told in the Court, that I begin to woe Lords, what a troop of the vntruft no- bilitie ihould 1 haue at my lodging to morrow morning.
E C9we
^he Worn in Hater.
Ctmt flcepe, ^ni with thy [met decciuing^ lock *»e in delight 4 whthy Jjtfome fifing Dreams beguile *A\\ my fancier that from thence, Stng* 1 mdyfeeU An influence, J&mjfviKH of cam bcreauing.
Though but d fk&ddtw, but 4 fliding, Zet m f omc little by, jVe that fuffer long Amy ^recententedwitb a tbtught
Through an idle far/cie wwght
O let my Isyes ,baue fome abiding.
Qond. Hauc you done your waffayle, tis ahandfome drowfiedittic lie allure yce, now I had as leeue here a Cattc cry, when her taile is cutoff, as hearethefelamcn- tations,thefelowfieloue-layes^therebevvaylements,yoti thinke vou haue caught me Ladie,you thinke I melt now, like a difh of May butter, and runne, all into brine, and pafsion, yes, yes, I am taken, lookc how I croffe my armesjookepakjand dwyndle,and woo'dcry, but for ^ fpoylin?, my face, we mufi pa rt,nay we'i auoyd all C ere- mon] ,uokifsing Ladie,Idefirc to know your Ladifhip sio iiiOre5 d'jprhofmyfoulc the Duke.
Qrid. God keepeyourLordfhip*,
Gond. From thee and all thy fex.
Om He be the Clarke and crie xAmen> Your L ^rdLhips cueraffured enemie Orient*
Exit OitAnA^AnetGQnddrt^
AcTVS III SCENA II.
Litter Duly, xAmgt) Luch. Gond. All the dayes good, attend your I^ordiliip* Dukf We thanke you Gwderm, is it pokible, Can beleefe lay hold on fuch a miracle, To fee thee, one that hath cloyftred vp all pafsion, lurndwilfull votary»and ibrfvvorne, canucrfe with wo-
OKA*
^The iFoman Hater.
mtn in company and faire d:fcourfe,with thebeft beauty ef Ttfjlldine ?
Gw. Tis true, and if your Grace that hath the fvvay Of the whole State, wil fufferthis lewd fex* Thefc women, to purfew vs to our homes* Not t« be praid,nor to be raird away, ■But they will woe,and d%uncc,and fing, And in a manner, loofer then they are B y nature (which flhould fecme impofsiblc) To throw their armcs^on our vnwilling neckes.
Duk. No morc,I can fee through your viflbrejdiflerr blc Doe not I know tkou haft vs'd all Arte, (it no morc^ To worke vpon the poore Gmplicitic Of this yong Maidc, that yet hath knownc none ill ? Thinkft that damnation will fright thofc thatwooo From othes^mi ties? butyctlthinke her chart, And will from thee, before thou fhalt apply Stronger tcmptations,beare her hence vvithmee*
Ootid. My Lord,Ifpeakc not this to gainc new jraec, But howfoeucr you cftceme my wordes, My loue and dude will not fufTct mee Tofeeyoufauour Hicha proftitutc, Andlftand by dumb; without Racke, Torture, Or Strappado, He vnrippe my felfe, I doe confcffel was in company, with that p1eah"ng pecet of fraikie, that we call womar.$ I doe confetti after along and tedious feige, I yeelded ♦
Duk- Forward.
Covd. Faith my Lord to come quickly to thcpoint.thc Woman you faw with me is a whorejan arrant whore*
£>«/;. Was fhee not Count Vslarts Sifter ?
Gond. Yes, that Count Valwes Sifter is naught. Thou darlt not (ay fo.
Gond, Not, if it be diftafting to your Lordfhip ,but giuc mce frcedome, & I dare maintaine^die ha's imbracd this {b oh ! v ,and grownc to it as clofe, as the hot youthful! vine to theelme.
E 2 0tfk$.
Vhe Woman Hater.
Z)«^.Twicehaue I feen her with thee,twice my thoghts Were prompted by mine eye, to hold thy {triclncfle falfc and impofterous : is this your mewing vp, your ftrift re- tirement,your bitterneflc and gaule againft trfatfex:haue I not heard thee fay, thou wouldft fooner meet the B4ftlisks dead doing eye, then meet a woman for an object: looke it be true you tell mec, or by our countries Saint your head goes off: if thou prouc a whoremo womans face fhal eucr moue me more. Exeunt. Mdncnt Gondarino*
Gond. So,fo/tisasitfliould be, are women growne fo mankind ? Mud they be wooing, I haue a plot Hial blow her vpjfriee flyes, fliee mounts, He teach her Ladymip to dare my furie,I will be knowne and fear d,and more truly hated of women then an Eunuch* Enter Or Una.
Shees here againc, good gaule be patient, for I muft dif- femble.
Orid. Now my cold froftie Lord,my woman Hater,you that hauefworne an euerlaftinghate to allourfexrbymy troth good Lord,and as I am yet a maid,my thoght 'twas excellent Iportto heare your honour fweare out an Al- phabet,chafe nobly like a Generall,kicke like a refty jade and make ill faces : Did your good Honor thinke I was in loue ? where did I firft begin to take that heat? from thofc two radiant eyes,that piercing fight?oh they were louely, if the balls flood right*, and there's a legge made out of a dainty ftaffe, Where the Gods be thanked, there is calfc ynough.
G and. Pardon him Ladie,that is now a conuertite, " Your beautie like a Saint hath wrought this wonder.
Orian*. AlafTe, ha's it beene prick'c at the heart, is the ftomacke come downe, will it ravle no more at women, and call 'em Diuels, fiiec Cattes, and Gob- blins.
Gond. Hee that (hall marry thee, had better fpend the poorc remainder of his dayes in a Dung-barge, for twopence a,weeie, and find himfclfc :
Downe
The Woman Hater.
Downe againe Splcene, I preethcc downe againe, mail I find fauour Ladie ? mall at length my true vnfained pene- tencc get pardon for myharfh vnfeafoned follies ?I am no more an Athieft, no, I doe acknowledge, that dread owrcfull Deitie, and his allquickning heats, burnc in my reft : oh be not as I was, hard, vnrelenringjbut as Iam,be partner of my Fires.
Oria. Sure we mall haue (lore of Larkes,the Skies will not holdvp long, I mould haue looked asfoonefor froft inthedoggedayes,or another Inundation, ashop'd this ftrange conuerfion aboue myracle: let meelooke vpon your Lordmip*, is your name Gsndarinoj are you Mdlaincs Generall, that great Bug-bearc bloodie-bones,at whofe Very name all women, from the Ladie to the Landrcfle, (hake like a cold fit.
Gond. Good patience helpe me, thisFeuer will inrage my bloud againe : Maddam I am that man*, I am eucn hec, that once did owe vnreconcilcd hatetoyou, and all that bearc the name of woman: I am the man, that wrong' d your honour to the Duke, I am hec that faid you were vn- chaft,and prolletute^yetl am he,thardare deny all this* Oris. Your big Nobilitie is very merric* Gond. Lady tis true that I haue wrongd you thus, And my Contrition is as true as that, Yet haue I found a meanes to make all good againe, I doc befeech your beautie,not for my felfe, My merrits are yet in conception, But for your honors fafetie,and my zeale Retyre a while, whilft I vnfay my felfe vnto the Duke, And call out that euill Spirit, I haue pofleft him with, I haue ahoufe conueniently priuatc.
On. Lord,thou haft wrong'd my innocence , but thy confefsion hath gain d thee faith.
Gond* By the true honeft feruice,thatIowe thofe eyes, My meaning is as fpotles as my faith. ftran^ely, Oria. The Duke doubt mine honour ? a may iudge Twill not be long, before ilebe enlarg'd againe.
E 3 Gond*
The Woman Hater.
Gaud. A day or two.
Oria*. Mine own fcruants fhall attend me# Your Ladifliips commaund it good. O/Wi. Looke you be true. ExitOrUtd G W, Elfe let me lofc the hopes ray foule afpires to: I will be a fcourge to all females in my life > and after my death,thename o£ Gendarme fliall be terrible to the mighty women of the earth $ they fhall fhake at my name, and at the found of it, their knees fhall knockc togethcr,and they fhall runnc into Nunneries , for they and I are beyond all hope irreconcilable ; for if I could endure an eare with at hole in'tjor a pleated locke,or a bare-headed Coachman, that fits like a figne , where great Ladies arc to bee fold withinjagreement betwixt v$, wercnoctobeedefpaircd oft if I could bee but brought to endure to fee women/I would hauc thera come all once aweekeandkiflemec, where Witches doe the diuell in token of homage : Irauft not hue here.,1 wil to the Court,and there purfue my plot* when ithatli tookc , women fhall (land in awe } but ofmy Sookc. Exit, Acxvs Ml. lciNd IIL
Enter tm JnteUigencmfifauering trufm in the Courtiers -mdu
1. Intel. There take vour (landing; , be clofe aad vig-ilat, here will I fet my felfc, and let him looke to his language, a fhal know the Dukeha's more eares in Court than two.
2 Anu lie quote him to * tittle,le c him fpeake wifely,and plainelyAand as hidden as a candor I lliall crufh him,a fliall notfeape charraclersjthough a fpeake Babel,I ftallcrufl* Jumiwehaue a Fortune by this feruice hanging ouervs, that within this yeare or two , I hope weihall be called to be examinerSjWcare politicke gownes garded with cop- per lace making; cn'eat faces full of fear e and office , our labours may delerue this.
l.ptt* I hope it lhall: why ha's not many men bin raifed from this worming trade s firfl: to o;aine good acc eiTe to great men, then to haue coairmfsjons out forfearch and
laf%
The Woman I&jter.
[i(U^tobcworthiIynamMatagr^Arraignmcnr:yes/?c: why not we? they that indeauour well defcrue their ice. ClofcjClofe^ comesrmaike well,and all goes well* Enter Count .L^Ycllo^d his Boy, Ld\. Farewell my hopes, my Anchor now is broken, Farewell my quondim\oyti>Gi which no token Is now remaining,fuch is the fad mifcliasce^ Where Lady Fortune leades the flippry daunce. Yet at the lcngth,let me this fauour haue, Giuemc my wifhes^ora wifhedgraue.
Count. The gods defend fo braue and valiant mawe, Should flip into the neuer fatiate jawe Of blacke Defpaireino,thou fhalt line and know Thy full dcfireSjhunger thy auntient foe, Shall bcfubdued,thofeguts that daily tumble Through ayrc and appetite/hall ceafe to rumble: And thou {halt now at length obtaine thy diili, That noble part,thefweet head of afifli.
La%, Then am I greater then the Duke".
i.lnt* There, there's a notable peece of trcafon, greater then the Duke,markethat.
Count. But how,or where, or when this fball bee com- pas'djisyctoutof my reach.
I^.Iamfo truly miferable, that might I be now knockt at!/ head, with all my heartl would fopgiuc a dog killer.
Count, Yet doe I fee through this confufednes iome lit- tle comfort,
Li.Thc plot my Lord,as cr'e you cam of? woma difcouer.
iJ»f.Plots,dangerous plots, I wiii defcrue by tins mod liberally.
Count. *Tis from my head again
l*7v Othatitwc uld itandinee, thaj I might fight, or haue fome venture for it , that Imighcbcturn'd loofe, to- trymyEoi tine amongft the whole fri'c in a ColledgCjOr anlnue of Court ,orfcrable with thepnfoncrsin the dun- eeonmay were it jet do wnc in the owtcr court,. "* And allthe Guard about it m a ring,
' With.
7 hefWoman Hater.
With their kniues drawne,which were a difinall fight*
And after twentie ieifurel y were told, f
I to be lctloofe,oncly in my (hire,
To trie the valour,how much of the fpoile,
I would recouer from the enemies mouthes:
I would accept the challenge.
Count. Letitgoerhafi not thou beencheld To haue fomc wit in the Court, and to make fine jefts Vpon country people in progreiTe time,and Wilt thou loofe this opinion,for the cold head ofa Fiflr? Ifay,letitgqe:Ilehelpc thee to as good adilhofmeat,
La\at. God let me not liue,if I doe not wonder Men fliould talke fo prophanely : But it is not in the power of loofe wordes, Of any vaine or misbelecuiHg man, To make me dare to wrong thy puritic. Shew me but any Lady in the Court, That hath fo full an eie,fo fvveet a breath, Sofofte and white a fleili;this doth not lie In almond gloues,nor eucrhath bin wafht In artificiall bathesjno traueller That hath brought doclor home with him, hath dar'd With all his waters,powdcrs,Fucufres, To make thy louely corpes fophifticate.
Count . I haue it,tis now infus'd^be comforted.
Can there be that little hope yet left in naturc?fihal I once more ereclvp Trophies ? flialllenioy the fight of my deere Saint , and blefle my pallate with the beftof crcatures,ahgood my Lord,by whom I breath again,ftial Ireceiuethis becing?
Count. Sir, I haue found by certain calculation, and fet- ledreuolutionofthcftarres , theFifliis fentby the Lord Gondarino to his Mercer, now tis a growing hope to know where tis.
L*rx. O tis farreaboue the good of women, zhcVatbukg cannot yield more plcafing tittylation.. Cwnt. But how to compare it, fearch, cart about , and-
bang
The Woman Hater.
bang your braines, Lazaretto, thou art to dull and heauy to defcrueablcfsing.
L*\. My Lord,I will not be idle*, now U\mlU} thinke, t'hinlccjthinkc.
Count. Yondcrs my In former And his fellow with table bookes,they nod atmc V pon my life,they haue poore Ld^arelh that beats His braines about no fuch waighty matter,in for Treafon before this-— (myfelfe,
Lt%. My Lord^whatdoeyouthmke, if Ifliould/haue Putonmidwiues apparell, come in with a hand-kercher, And beg a peece for a great bellied woma,or a fick child?
Count. Good,very good.
La?x Or corrupt the waiting prentife to betray thcrc- uerflom
ijmc. Tlicr's another point in s plot^corrupt withrno- to ben iy:flirc'tisfomeFortameanes:marke,hauea care. \
L*\. And 'twere the bare vinegcr 'tis eaten with, it would in fome fortfatisfie nature : but might I once at- taine the d 'fh it felfc,though 1 cut out my mcancs through fwords and fire, through poifon, through any thing that may make good my hopes.
2. Int. Thankcs to the gods , and our officioufnes , the plots difcGuerd,flrc,ftcele,and poifon , burne the Palace, kill the Duke,and poifon his priuic Counfell. O.To the merccrSjlet me fee: how if before we can attain the means,to make vp our acquaintace, the fifh be eaten ?
Ld^.lf it be eaten,here a (tads, that is the molt dciccled, mod vnfortunatc,miferable3accurfedaforfaken flauc, this Prouince yeeldes: I will not furc outliue it , no I will die brauely^ind like a Romanjand after death, amidft the E- lizian lhades,Ile mecte my loue againc.
• i.fo. Iwilldicbrauely,hkeaRoman:haueacare,nDark that: when he hath done all,he will kill himfelfe* C$unu Willnothingeafeyourappetitcbtitthis > Z*\. No could the fea throw vp his vaftnefle,
7 he Woman Hater.
And offer free-his bed inhabitants :'cwere notfo much as a bare temptation to me.
Count. If you could be drawn* to aflfeft Beef, Vcnifon, or Fowle,twould be farre the better.
L4\4. Idoebcfeechyour Lord Ops patience, IdoeconfelTethat in this heat of blond, I haue contemn d all dull and groller meats, But I prorefl, I doe honor a Chine of beefe, I doe reuerencc a loyne of vcale, But good my Lord, giue me leauc a little to adore this: But my good Lord, would your Lordihip vnder colour of taking vp fome hikes ,goe to the Mercers, I would in all humihcie attend your honor, where we may be inuitcd, if Fortune (tan J propitious.
Count. Sir you ftiall worke mc as you pleafc*
Lt\4, Let it befuddenly, Idoe befecchyour Lordfliip, 'tis now vpon the point of dinner time.
Count* I am all yours. Exeunt Lamella and Count.
I. In. Come let vs couferre, Inprimis a faith like a blafphemous viltaine, he is greater the the Dtrke,thispepcrs him,&: there were nothmg eife.
2. In. Then a was naming plots*, did ycenotheare?
I. In. Yes but a fell from that, vnto difcouery,to cor- rupt by money, and fo aftame.
& In. 1,1, a meant fome Fort, or Syttadell the Duke hath, his very face betraid his meaning, O heeis a very fubtill and a dangerous knaue,buufa deale a Gods name wefhall worme him. *
1. In* But now comes the Stroake, the fatallblow, Fire,fword,& Poyfon,0 Can bal,thou bloody CanibaL
2, In* What load become of this poore ftate,had not we beene?
1. In. Faith it had lyen buried in, his owne auhes* had not a greater hand beeneint.
2. In. But note the Rafcalsrefolution,after th'aclts done, becaufea wo'd auoid alfeareof corture, and coufen the La w,a vvo'd kill himfelfe ? was there euer the like danger, brougtto light in thisagej'fure weftnll meritc much, wc flulbeable to keep two men apeece,<5ca two hand fword
The Woman Hater.
between vs ,we will liuc in fauour of the State, betray our ten or tweluc treafons a weeke,and the people mall feare vs : come,to the Lord Lucio.thc Sunne fhallnot goe down till a be hanged. Exeunt.
Ac TVS 3. ScHN A. 4.
Enter Mercer.
7tk,\ Looke to my fliop, & if there come cuer a SchoL ler in blacke,let him fpeak with me, we that are fhop-kee- pers in <rood trade,arc fo pctteredathat we can fcarfe pick out an houre for our mornings meditation : 6c howfoeuer we are all accounted dull^ana common iefling flocks, for your gallantsjthcre are feme ofvs, doenotdiferueit :for for my own part, I doe begin to bee giuen to my booke, I lone a fchollerwith my heart*, for queflionlcs there arc meruclous things to bec done by Arte: why fir, fomeof the wil id you what is become of horfes,& iiluer fpones* 6c wilrtiake wenches dance naked to their beds: I am yet/ vnmanied, and becaufefome of our neighbours are (aid to be Cuckoldcs,! will ncuer marrie without the confent of fomc of thefe fchollers, that know what will coe of it;
Pan. Are you bulie fir ? Enter TandtY.
Trier ♦ Ncuer to you fir,nor to any ofyourcoate. Sir is there any thing to bee done by Art, concerning the great heire we talked on?
fan. Will fhcc?wjll fhecifhec mail come running into my houfe at the farther corner, in Sa.Markes flreet, be- twixt three and foiuc. (is /bee not 5
Mer. Betwixt three and foure ?fhee>s braucin clothes*
f*n. O rich/rich/ wHfci'e fhould I get clothes to dreflc her in^help me inuention : Sir, that her running through the ftreete,may be lelTe noted, my Arte more fhown,and your feare to {peake with herlcilc, fhee mail come in a white w^ftcote, And —
afer. What mail fliec?
<?dn. And perhaps torne fiockings,fhe hath left her old Vvountelfe, Enter f rent fe^
fren. Sirmy Lord C?W<r.hath fent you a rare fiuMiead,
The Woman Hater.
began to loue fchollcr$,you mall hauc it home with you, againfl: (he come : carricitto this Gentleman s noufe.
fan. Thefaire white houfe at the farther Corner at S* Marks ftreet,make haftj mud leaue you too Sir.I hauc two howcrs to (tuddie*, buy a new Axidens,& plye your booke,and you mall wantnothing, that all the fchollcrs in the To wne can doe for you . Exit fandar.
Tyler. Heauen profper both our ftuddies, what a dull flauewasljbeforelfellin loue with this learning ? not worthy to tread vpon the earth, and what, frefh hopes it hathput into me? I doe hope within this tweke Hioneth, to be able by Arte, to feme the Court with filkes,and not vhdoemy felfe*, to truftknights,and yet get in my money againc> to kcepe my wife braue,and yet fhe kecpe no bo- die elfc, fo . Enter Count* and Lt^arcllo.
Your Lordfhip is moft honorably welcome, in regard of your Nobilitie, but molt efpecially in regard of yodr fchollcrfhip : did your Lordfoip corne openly ?
Count- Sir this cloak ckcepes mec priuate, be (ides no man will fufpeet, me to bee in the companie of this Gen- tleman,with whome, I willdefire you to bee acquainted^ he may prouea goodcuilomcrto you. La\a. For plaine fiikes and veluets* .Mer. Arc you fcholafticall ? L4%a. Something adicted to the Mufe*. Count. I hope they will not difpute. Trier. You haue no skil in the black Arte? Entcrtfren. Vren. Sir yondersa Gentleman, enquires haftily for Count Vdore. Count. For me?what is he ? Trcti. One of your followers my Lord I thinke. Count. Let him come in* Trier. Shall I talke with you in priuat Sir ?
Enter a Mefienger with 4 Letter to the Count, be reads. Count. Count Come to the Gourt, your bufincs catsyouthithtfv I will goe, farcwcl Sir, ile fee your fiikes fome other times Farewell £*;j*r///?.
The Woman Hater.
MeY. Will not your Lordfhippe takea peece of Beefc with rnec ?
Count. Sir I hauc greater bufineiTe then eating*, ItviH lcaue this gentlema with vou. Exeunt Count. & mcf.
1,4X4. No ,no,no.,no: now doe I feele thatftraina ftvug- ling within me, that I thinke I could prophefie.
Tdcr. The Gentleman is meditating.
L*\d. Hunger, valour, Loucambition,arc alikeplea- fmg, and let our Philofophers fay what they wi.ll,arc one kind of heat, oncly hunger it the fafefl:, ambition is apt to fall 5 Lone and valour are not free from dangers, oncly hunger, begotten of fome olde limber Courtier, in pan d hofe, and nurs'd by an Attornies wife, now fo thryuen,that he need not fearc to be of the great Turkcs guarderis fo free from aiquarrells,and dangers, fo fill of hopes, ioves, and ticklings, that my life is not fad cere to jnce,as his acquaintance. Enter Lar^rclloes Boy,
$oy. Sir,thefifh head is gone.
L*\** Then be thou henceforth dumbe,with thy ill bo- Farewell Mifainefive well noble Duke, (ding voyce Farewell my fellow Courtiers all, with whoinc, I hauc of yore made many a fcraitibliftg mealc In corners, behind Ara(Tes,on ftaircs, And in the action often times hauc fpoild, Our Dublcti and our hofe, with liquid ftuffe : Farewell you luftie archers of the Guard, Towhome I now doc giuethebucklers vp, And neuer more with any of your coate Will cate for wagers,now you happie be, When this fhall light vpon you,thinkc on mc : You Scwcrs,carucrs, vfheri of the Court Surnamcd gentle, for your faircdemeanc, Herd doc take of you my 1 aft fere well, May you Hand ftifly in your proper places* And execute your offices aright. Farewell you maidens,with your mother eke, f crcweli you courtly Chaplaines that be there> All ffoodattend you^may you neuermore
F3 [Marry
7 be Woman Hater.
Marry your Patrons Ladies wavtinsi-wotnan, 13 ut may you rays'd bee, by this my i all May Ld^riih fuffer for you all.
2W<Tc. Sir,I was harkeriing to yoiu
La\. I will hcare nothing*, I will brcakc my knife, the enfigncof my former happic (late, knocke out my teeth, hauethem hung ataBarbcrs,and enter into Religion.
Boy. Why SirJthink,Iknowewhetheritis gon.
L*y See the rahhneffe of man in his nature, whither? wither?Idoe vnfay ail thatlhaue (aici.goe on,goe on:Boy, I humble my felfe and follow thee*, Farewell hr.
T^lcr. Not fo Sir,you dial take a peece of Beefe with mc.
L*t\. I cannot Hay*
21er. By my fay,butyoumallSirjinregardofyourlouc to icarning,and your skill in the blacke Arte*
Ufy I do hate learning,and I haue no skill in the blacke Arte; I would 1 had.
Mcr. Why your defire is fufficient to me, you fhall itay.
La\. The moft horrible^nd detefted curies that can be imagined flight vppon all the profeffors of that Arte ;may they be drunke,& when they goe to cojure, & reele in the Circle,may the Spirits by them rais'd, teare am in peeces, and hang their quarters on old broken vvailes^nd Steeple tops,
Mer This fpeech of yours, fhewes you to haue fomc skill in the Sciencc^wherefore in ciuilitie, I may not fuffer you to depart emptie.
U\. My ftomacke is vp, I cannot indure it, I will fight in this quarrcll,as foone as for my Prince. lloorne,make \^y : Dyawcs bis Papier
Hunger commaunds,my valour mull obay. Mxcswt 0mt Ftms *A&. 3.
ACTVS IIII SCE N A L
Enter Count, and %Arrig9* Cemt. IstheDukcpnuatc?
yfrylg!. He
The Woman Hater.
*A*y* Heis alone, but Ithinke your LordChip may en- ter. Ext Count, Enter &ond,tmo, Cond. Who's with the Duke?
^frr. The Count is newegonein, but the Duke will come forth, before you can be weary of waiting. Gond, I will attend him here.
An\ I mull wait without the dore. Exit <Amgo
Gond. Dothhehopetoclcarehis fiftcr; free will come no more to my houfe, to laugh at me: I hauc fenther to a habitation.wherc when (he flial be feene,it wil fet a glolTe vpon her name*, yet vponmy foule I haue bellowed her amongft the pureft hearted creatures of her fcxe, and the freed rromdifsimulatiom lor their deedes are all alike.on- ly they dare fpcake , what the reft thinke : the women of tlusa2;e, if there bee any degrees ofcomparifon amonglt their {exe,arc vvorfe then thofe of former times*,for I haue read of women, of thattructh , fpirit, and conftancy,tliat were they now huing,I iliould indure to fee them : But 1 fearc the writers of the time,bclied thermfor how familiar a thing is it with the Poets of our age , to extol! their whores, which they call miftrefles, with hcanenlv praifes? but Ithanke their Furies,and their craz'dbraines, beyond belecfernay how many that would faine feeme fenous, hauc dedicated graue works to ladies tooth-leflc, hdllow efd, their haire Lhedding, purple fae'd, their nayles appa- rantly comming oS) and the bridges of their nofes bro- ken downe;and haue called the the choyfe handy workes of nature,the patterns of perfection, and the wondermet of women. Our women begin tofwarme like Bees in Summer : as I came hither, there was no payre of ftaycrs., noentry, nolobbcy> but was peftred with them :'mee thinkes there might bee fome courfe taken to deftroy thcm4
Enter Arrigo0and an old deaf re countrey gentlewoman futer to the<Duk£. %Arrigo. I doe accept your money, walke here,and when ■die Duke comes out, you lliall haue fit opportunities
deliuer
The Woman Hater.
deliucr your petition to him, GcntUw* I thankc you heartily,! pray you who's he that
walkes there ?
%jhr. A Lord, and a Souldier, one in good fauor with the Dukejif vou could get him to deliucr your Petition—
Gent lew. What do you fay Sir ?
An. If you could get him to deliucr your petition for you,or to fecond you, 'twere fure. GcntUw. 1 hope I (hall line to requite your kindnes. *4rrig» You haue already. Exit ^nig?
GcntUw. May it pleafe your LordiLip— « Gmd. No,No.
GcntUw. Toconfidcr thecftate- — » Gond. No. GcntUw, Of a pooreoppreiled Country Gentlewoman,
Gond. No,it doth not pleafe my Lordmip* GcntUw. Fh ft and foremoft, I haue had great injurie,then 1 haue bcene brought vp to theTovvnc three times.
Gond. A poxc on him,that brought thee to the Towne.
GcntUw. I thankeyour good Lordlhip heartily; though I cannot hearc well, I know e it grieues youjand hecre wee haue beene delai'd,and fent downc againc,and fetched vp againe,andfentdownc againe,to my great charge]: And now at lad: they haue fetched mee vppe, and flue of my daughters _
Gond. Enough to darnne flue worldes*
Getklcw. Handfome young women.though I fay it. they are all without, if it pleafe your Lordfiiip,Ile call them in.
Gond. Fiuc women /how many of my fences fliouldl haue left me then C'call in flue Diuels firft ♦
2^, / will ratber walks with thee a loney
%And bcAYC thy tedtous ule ofiniurie,
Jnd giue thee atfwcres) whiter in thync eat,
%And makg thec ynderftand^hrough ibj French-hood :
Jtnd dlltbit with tame patience.
GcntUw. I fee your Lordmip does belieuc , that they are without,and I pcrceiuc you are muchraou'd at our ia- jurie i her s appapcr will tell you more.
Gond. Away
Tie Woman Hater,
(tend. A w,ay,
Gtntlcw. It may bee you had rather here mee tell it y(u4 >*ce,as they fay.
G9nd, O no, no, no, no, Ihaucheardit before.
Gentler*. Thcnyouhaue heard of enough injurie, for a pcorc Gentlewoman to rccciue.
Gtnd. Neuer,neuer,but that it troubles my confciencc,to Xvi(h any good tothofc worn en^I could afford them to bee valiant,and able, that it might be no difgrace for a Souldier to beat them.
Gcntlew. 1 hope yourLordfhip willdeliuer my petition to his gracc,and yoo may tell him wi thall
Gonet. What, I willdeliuer any thing againft my felfc,to be rid on thee.
Cfwf/ijr.Thatyefterday, about three a docke,in the after noone,l metmy aduerfarie.
CW. Giue me thy paper, he can abide no long talcs*
Gentle w. 9 Tis very Ihort my Lord, and I demaunding of him-
Gond. lie tell him that (hall feme thy turnc.
Gentlew. How ?
Goncl. lie tell him that dial feme thy turne, be gone'man acucr doth remember how great his offences arc, tillhee doc meet with one of you, that plagues him for them: Vvhyfhould women onlyabouc ail other creatures that were created for the benefit of ma,hauc the vfc of fpeech? or why mould any deed of theirs,done by their flcrfily ap» petites, be difgracefull to their owners? nay, why fh'ould not an aft d one by any bead I keepe, againft my confent, djfparage me as much as thatof theirs?
Gentlew. Here's fome few Angels for your Lord/hip.
GW. A gained yet more torments ?
Gentlew. Indeed you Hiall haue thcra.
CW.Kccpeeff.
Gem lew. A fmall gratuit for your kindnefTe, Gwd. Hold away. Gaff. Why then I thank your Lordfhipjle gather the vp
G againc,
*I he Worn an Hater.
againe,and He bee fworne, it is the firft money, that was ref us'd,fince I came to the court.
G*nd. What can (he deuifc to fay more?
Cendem. Truely I would haue willingly parted with them to your Lordmip,
Cond. Ibeleeueit,I belccucit,
Gentler?. Butfincc it is thus —
Cond. More yet.
Gentlew. I will attend without, and expefr an aufwere.
Cond. Doe,begone,and thou flialt expe&,and hau e any thing,thou malt haue thy anfwere from him*, and he were beft to giue thee a good one at firft , for thy deafe impor • tunitie,will conquer him too,in the end-
Cent. God bleiie your Lordmip,5c all that fauour poore diftrcfled country gentlewoman . Exit Gentlewoman.
Goad. All the difeafes of mamlight vpon them that doc, and vpon me when I doe$ a wcckcof&ch dmcSj would ei- ther make me ftarkc mad,or tame mee: yonder other wo- man that I haue fure enough , fliall anfwer for thy flnnes: dare they incenfeme ftilljl will make them feare as much to be ignorant of mee and my moodes, as men are to bee ignorant of the lawe they liuevndcr. Who's there? My blood grew cold,I began to feare my Suters returnc 5 tis the Duke.
Enter the <Dnhe dnd the Count. Count. I know her ch although flic b e yong & free3 And is not of that fore d behauiour That many others are,and that this Lord, Out of the boundlcfle malice to the fcxe, Hath thro wne this fcandall on her.
Cond. Fortune, befri ended mee againft my will, with this good old country :tentlewoma}I befecch your <rrace, to view favourably the petition ofa wi oged gentlewoman \VhatGW^ri?7^arc^'ou become a petitioner for your enemies?
Gond. My Lord,th cy arc no enemies of mine,I c onfeffe •the better to co uer my deeds, which foiiKimes were 'ocfe
enough,,,
The Woman Hater.
cnough,I pretended it,as it is wifdome,to kcepe clofc our incontinenciejbut fince you hauedifcouercdrne/I will no more put on thatvizar , but will as freely open all my thoughts to you^as to my Confeflbr.
&ukc. What fay you to this ?
Ctunt. He that confeflesjie did once diflcmble, lie neuer trull his wordes,can you imagine A maide,whofe beauty could not fuffer her To hue thus long vntemptcd,by the nobleft, Richcft,and cunningft matters in that Arte, And yet hath euer held a faire repute*, Could in one morniag,and by him b e brought, To forget all her vcrtue,and turnc whore?
G md. I would I had fome other talkc in hand, Then to accufe a fitter to her brother* Nor doe I meane it for apublikcfcandall, Vnlefle by vrging me,you make it fo.
jDafc. I willread this at better lcifure: GtrtJtrw, where is the Lady?
Count. Athishoufe.
Gond. No/hec is departed thence.
Count. Whither?
Gond. Vrge it not thus,or let me be excus'd. If what I fpeake betray her chaftitie, And both incrcafc my forrow,and your owne.
Count . Feare me not fo,if mec defcrue the fame Which {lice hath gotten,I would haue it publiflit, Brand her my felfe,and whip her through the cittie: I wifhthofc of my blood that doe offend, Should be more ftriclly puniflit, then my foes* Letitbeprooued.
Dakc. Gmddrin^thou fiialt proue it, or fuffer wrorfe then fhcefhoulddoe*
Gond. Then pardon me,if I betray the faults O f one3l louc more decrely then my felfc, Since opening -hers, I /hall betray my ne owne: But I will briftg yoUjwhcrc fhec now intends
G 2 Not
The Woman Hater.
Not to be vcrtuousipride and wantonnclTe, That arc trite friends indcedjthough not in (hew, Haue entrcd on her hcart,there face doth bath, Aad flceke her haire,and pra&ife cunning lookes, To cntertaine me witfcand hath her thoughts As full of luft,as cner y ou did thinkc Them full of modefhe.
<Duk; Qmdmno^A on,wee'l follow thee. txmh
Aervs I III. 5 cbn* IL
Enter ftnitu
9m, Here hope I to mccte my citizen , and here hopes he to mecte his fcholler I am fure I am graue enough 3 to his cics,andknaue enough todeceiuehim;I ambelecued to conjure, raife ftormes , anddiuels, by whofe powerl can doe wonders \ let him belceuefo ftill, bekefe hurts noman.-I haue an honed blackecloakc, for myknane* he, and a Generall pardon for his foolerie , from this prefent day, till the day of his Breaking* KVnot a mife- rie,and the greateftof our age ,to Tea a handfome,young, faire enough,and well mounted wench 5 humble her felfe, in an old ftammellpetticoate/tandingpoilefl: of no more fringe then the ftreet can allow her : her vpper parts fo poore and wanting , that ycemay fee her bones through her bodies rfhoocs flie would haue, if her captainewcre come ouer,and is content the while to deuote her felfe to antiec flippers. Thefe premifies wel c6fidered,^entleme will mooue, they make me meltl promife yee,they. fibre me muchjand werc't not for my fmoofh , foft, fiiken Citi- zen,! would quit this tranlitoric trade, get mee aneucrla- fling robe, feare vp my confeience y and turne Serieant But here a comes,is mine as good as prize : Sh'Vd»J4ru4 be my fpeed^ye are moil fitly met fir.
Utecr Mercer.
Mercer, And vou as wel encountrcd^vhat of this heir*?
hath
The Wornm Hater.
hath yourbookts beene propitious ?
Pan* Sir/tis done3fhees come,Oiecisinmy houfe5rnakc your fclfe apt for Courtfhip , ftroke vpyour (lockings, locfenotanmchofyourlegges goodncfle*? Iamfureyec wearefockes.
Ttfft c. There your bookes faile ye Sir, in truth I wearc iiofockes.
Vand. I would ye bad Sir,it were the Tweeter grace for your leggesjget on your gloues,are they perfunVd?
Mere* A pretty wafhlle aflurc you*
'Twill ferue : your offers muft be full of bounty, Velucts to furnifli a gownc , Mikes for petticoats and fore- parts5fhag for linings; forget not fome pretty jewell to fa- ften,after fome little complement : if fhec deny this curte- fie.double your bounties, be not wanting in aboundance, fulneffe of guiftes, linckt with a pleafing tongue, will winne an Anchorite. Sir, yee arc my friende, and friende to all that pro felTes good lettcrs*,I muft: not vfe this office clfe , k fits not for a icholler,and a gentleman: thofe [loc- kings are of Kafles}thcy are filke*
"Merc* Ye are agakie befide your text*, fir, they are a the bcRofvvoolljand they deeped jerfcy.
Van. Sure they are very deare ?
Merc . Nine /hillings, by my lone to learning.
Tan. Pardon my iudgement, wee fchollers vfe no other obiccls^but their bookes.
Mercrr. There is one thing intomb'd in that graue breaft, that makes mcc equally admire it with your fchollerOiip,
fan. Si^butthatinmodefiie Iambound not toaffccl; mine own commendationj would inquire it of you?
"Merc. Sure you are very honeft,and yetyec haue a kind of mod eft fearc to flicwk : doe not deny it, that face of yours,is a worthy learned modeftfacc.
fan. Sir,Icanblu(h« J "Mcr< Vertue and Grace are alwaiespaird together: but twillleauc to ftir your blood Sir,and now to ourbufmes*
G 3 F°r*
¥hs Woman Hater.
Tun Forget no t my in (tru&i ons,
?Aa . I apprehend ye Sir,I will gather my felfc together, with my bcttphrafes?and iblfhall difcourfe in fomcfort takingly.
&un. This was well worded Sir,and like a Scholcr.
Met. The Mufes fauormeas my entents arc vertuous*, Sir ycfhalibemy tutor, tisneucr to late Sir toloue lcar-,. ning : when I can once fpeake true latinc_
(Pah, What do you intend Sir ?
Tyler. Marry I will then begger all your Bawdy writers, and vndertake at theperrili of my cvvne inuention , all Pageants3poe(ies for Chirnnies, Speeches for the Dukes entertainment j whenfoeuer and whatfoeuer, nay J will builde at mine owne charge, an Hofpitall,to which, fhall retyer,all difeafed opinions, all broken Poets, all Profc-men that are fallen from fmall fence, to meere let- . ters$and itOiallbelawfull,for a Lawyer7if hebee aciuill . man, though a haue vndone others & himfelfc by the lan- guagej to retyrc to this poore life, and learne to be honeft.
Pun. Sir ye arc very good,and very charitable : ye are a i true patternc for the Citie Sir.
7tfer. Sir,I do knowe furfkicntly their fhop-bookes can- not fauc thcm,therc is a further end---
Putt. Oh : Sir much may be done \ by manefcript*
Mr* IdoconfefleitSirjiprouided Hill they be canoni- coll,and haue fome worthy handes fct tovmfor probati- on : but we forgetour felues*
Pun. Sir enter when you pleafe, ani all good language typpe your tongue.
filer* All that lone learning pray for my good fuccefle.
Exit Mercer*
ACTVS IIIISCBNA III.
Enter Lu^urelh And his Eoj. Zu\. Boy, where abouts arc we ? tB»j. Sir by all tokens this is the houfe^bawdy I am fure, by the broken windowes, the fill head is within,if ye dare
venture
7 he Woman Hater.
wcnturejiereyou rftay furprifcit.
Z4^4, The mifene of man may fitly bee compared to a Didappcr, who whenfhee is vndci water pad: our fi^hr, and indeed can fecme no more to vs, rifes againe, fhakes but her feife,and is the fame fhe wasjfo is it (Si with tranf- fitorie man, this day : ohbutanhowrefince, & I was mig h ty ,m i g h ty i n kno w ledge, mi g h ty i n my h op cs ,mi gh - kic in blcfted meanes ,and was fo truly happie,that I durii a faidjliue La\4reli r^and be fatisfied:but now—
Sir ye arejycta-ffote and may recouer,bc not your ownewrac'ke, here lies the harbor, goe in and ride at eafe.
La^d. Boy I am receiued to be a Gentleman, a Courti- er, and a man of A£tion,modeft,and wife, and bee it fpo- kenwith thyreuerence Child, abounding vertous*, and would (1: thou haue a man of thefe choifc habits, couet the Icoucr of a baudy houfe?yet if I goe not in, lam bu t—
Boy. But what Sir ?
Ld^u. Duft boy,butduft,and my foulc vnfatisfied (hall haunt the keepers of ray blefled Saint,and I will appeare .
Bay. An Aff: to all men*, Sir thefe are no meancs, to ftay your appetite, you mud refolue to enter.
La\a> Were not the houfe fubiccl to Martial 1 law-*
Boy. If that be all,Sir ye may enter,ibr ye can know no- thing here, that the Court is ignorant of, oncly the more eyes (ball looke vpon yee, for there they winck one at a- nothers faults.
Ld^a. Ifldoenot,
Boy. Then ye muft beat fuirely backe againe,fai to your pliylicalmcfieofporridge,& the twice fackt carcalcof a Capon, Fortune may fauour you fo much, to fend the bread to it tbufits am'cerc venture,and money may bee put out vpon it.
I will goe in and line*, pretend fome lone to the ■ ' acntle woman jlcrcw my felfinaftcclio, cs: fobefatisued,
Pdw* This flic is caught, ismafht alreadic;I wiU fudce him,and lay him by.
08'
*T he Woman Hater.
Mtfi Muffle your fclfc in your cloake by any rneancs, 'tis a recciued thing among gallants,to vvalkc to their lea- cbcric, as though they had the vhunac, 'twas well you brought not your horfc.
L*?ka. Why boy?
$*y. Faith Sir tis the fafhion of our gentry ,to haue their horfcswaitatdorelikcmen,whiltthe besfts their mai- ftcrs,arc within atrackc & maingcr, 'twould haue difco- uered much.
Z*l*. I will lay by thefe habits, formes, andgraue rcf- pefts ofwhatIam,and bcemyfclfe* onely nay appetite, my firCjinyfoulcmy being, my decre appetite fhall goc along with me, arna'd with whofe flrength, Ifcareles wil attempt the grcateft danger dare oppofemyfurie : I am rcfoiu'd where eucr that thou art, moftfacrcd diu% hid from vnhollowed cycs,to find thee out, Bee'fl thou in hell, rap't by Vnferfin*, To be a R wall in blackc fluties iouc : Gr moucs thou in the hcauens, a forme diuine? Laming thclazie Spheres: Or ifthou beeft return d to thy firft being, Thy mother Sea, there will I fcekc thee forth," Earth,Ayre, nor Fire,
Nor the blackc (Lades bclowe^fhallbarre my fight, So daring is my powcrfull appetite.
&'J- Sir, you may faue this long voyage, and take a Shorter cut;you haue forgot your fclf, thefiCh head's here, your owne imaginations haue made you mad. La\4. Tearmeitaiealousfuriegoodmy boy.
$oy. Faith Sir tearme it what you will, you mu ftvfeo- thcr tcarmes ere you can get it.
Ld^d. Thclookcs of my fwcet loue arc faire* Frcfh and feeding as the Ay re.
Btj* Sir, you forgetyour felfe.
Ld^. Wasncucrfeene fo rare a head, Of any Filhaliuccr dead*
Syr, Good Sir rcnicmb cr, this is the houfe Sir.*
Ld^u\
7 he Woman Hater.
Ld\* Curfed be he that dare not venter.
Boj. Pitty your (elfe fir,and lcauc this furie.
Ld\. For fuch a prize,and Co I enter* Exit La^arello.dnd Bt>j>
fdtt. Dun s ith'my rc3gct out againe how a can: My honefr gallant^Ile fhew you one tricke more Then ere the foole your father dreamd of yet. Tdddon* lulu i
Enter Trfddtnd laid,* where.
hilidr What newes my fweet rogue, my dcere finncs brokcr,what ? good nevves ?
Van. There is a kindeofi^norantthia^, much like a v>ourtier,now gone in.
ltd. Is a gallant?
Fm. A fhines not very gloriou fly , nor doesaweare one skirmc perfum'd to keepc the tother fweet •> his coatc is not in or, nor does the world run yet on wheeleswith himjis rich enough , and has a final 1 thing follow cs him, like to a boatc tied to a tall fhips taile; giuc him entertain- ment,bc light and flafhing like a Meteor, hug him about the necke,giue him a kiiTe, and lifping crie, good Sirs and is thine owne , as faft as a were tied to thine armes , by In- dentures.
Iul. I dare doc more then this, if a bee a the true Court cut;Ile take him out a leflbn worth the learning : but wee are but their Apesjwhats he worth ?
Pdn. Be he rich,or poore, if he will take thee with him, thoumaiftvfe thy trade free from Conitablcs,and Mar- shals: who hath binhercfincel wrent out?
IuL There is a gentlewoman fent hither by a Lord, fliee's a peece of dainty ftufTc my rogue , fmootl^and foft, as new S attendee was neuer gumb'd yet boy , nor fret- ted.
!p4n. Where lies fhee?
IuL Shee lies aboue,towards the ftrect, not to be fpokc with,but by the Lord that fent her, or fome from hinvvc haue m charge from his feruams.
H ft*. Peace
7 he Woman Hater.
^w.Peace^a comes out againe vpon difcoueryjvp with all your canuas,hale him in s and when thou hafl;donc? clap him a board brauely,my valiant Pinnace*
lul Bcgone,I mall doe reafon with him.
Ld^* Are you the fpeciali beauty of this houfe ?
Jul. Sir, you hauc giuen it a more fpeciali regard by your good language,then thefe blacke brows can merit.
L*\* Lady you are faire.
Jul. Fairefir?Ithankeyce$ alithepoorcmcanesl hauc left to be thought grateful!,is but a kifTe,and ye mall hauc it Sir*
L4^% Ye hauc a very moouinglip.
Jul Prooue it againe Sir , it may bee your fence wasfet toohigh,& fo ouer wrought kfelfe,
L*?x. 'Tis ftili the fame.how farre may ye hold the time tobc {pent Lady ?
lul. Foure a ciocke fir.
La?. I hauc not eatc to day.
Jul. You will hauc the better ftbmacke to you: fupperj in the meane tiinc,Ile feed ye with delight.
L<*;. *Tis notfo good vpon an cmptic fiomackc : if it might be without the trouble of your houfe, I would eatc?
Jul. Sir Ave can hauc a Capon ready.
lar^ The day?
lul 'Tis Friday Sin
L*\ I doe eat little flcm vpon thefe daies,
Jul, Come fwect,y c fhall not thinke on meatjlle drown it with a better appetite.
Ld^. I fecle it worke moreftrangely ,1 muft eate.
IuL 'Tis now too late to fend-, I fay ye fnall not thinke ou mcat:if ye doc,by this kiffe He be angry*
I could be farrc more fprightfull, had I eaten, and Hiore lading.
Jul. What wil ye hauc Sir ? name but the Fifli,my maid fhall bring it,if it may be got*
ht\. Mc thinks your houfe mould not be fo vnfurniilir, as not to hauc fomc pretty modicum?
lul It
The Woman Hater.
Jul Itis fonowibutcou'd ye (lay till fupper ?
L*\- Sure I haue offended highly and much,and ffiy m- fliclionsmakeitmanifcft , I will retire henceforth , and keep my chamber,liuc priuatly,and die forgotten.
Jul. Sirlmuftcraueyourpardo, 1 had forgot my fclfej I haue a difli of meat within, 6c it is fifti, I think this Duke- dome holds not a daintier.-'tis an Vmkdtioei head.
L*?x. Lady,this kiffc is yours,and this.
Jul. Hoe? within there? couer the board , and fet the fi& head on it,
NowaniIfotruelyhappy,foniuchabouealL fate and fortune,that 1 mould defpife that man, durit fay, Re- member La\ -r^thou artmortall.
Ettttr Intelligence)' $ with dGudYtt*
i.Int. This is the villaine,lay hands on him.
Gentlemen , why am I thus intreated ? what is the riatoircof my crime ?
2. lut, Sir,though you haue carried it a great while pri- uatly,and (asyou thinke) vvelljyet we haue feene your Sir, and wc doe know thee Ld^drcllufox a traitor.
Ld\. The gods defend our Duke.
i.lnt. Amen. Sir , Sir, this cannot faue thatftiffenccke from the halter.
lul. G end ernes , I am glad you haue difcouer d him,a fhould not haue eaten vnder my roofc for twenty pouds* andfurely I did not like him, when acafd for Fiuh.
L<t%. My friends, will ye let me haue that little fauour— | l.Atf, Sir, ye mail haue law,and nothing elfe.
La^. To let me flay the eating of a bit or two , for I pro-i tcft I am yet falling?
luL lie haue no traitor come within my houfe.
Ldyr. Nowe could I wifh, my felfe , I had beenc Traitor, I haue ftrcngth enough for to endure it, hadl but patience: Man thou art but grafle , thou art a bubble, and thou muft pcrifltu Then lead along,I am prepard for all, Since I haue loft my hopcs,welcome my fall.
7 he Woman Hater.
z.lnt. Away fir.
L*\. As thou had hope of man, ftay but this difli this twohourcs,ldoubtnotbutl mallbedifcharged:by this light I will marry thee.
ltd. You fliali marry me firft then?
La\. I doe contract my felfe vnto thee nowc, before thefe gentlemen.
Jul. He preferue it till yoube hangd,or quitted*
Ia\> Thankes,thankes.
2. Int. Away,away,you iliall thanke her at the gallows.
ht\> Adicw,adiew.
Excmt Lttyr. 2 . IntelLand Gturd, lid. If he liue,Ilc haue him>if he be hang'd, there's no lofTc in it. Exit.
Enter Oxmva And her writing woman ; lookout At a window.
Oridn. Haft thou prouided one to beare my letter to my brother ?
Writ. I haue enquir'd , but they of the houfe will f jffer 510 letter nor meffage to bee carried from you, butfuch as the Lord Condmno /hall bee acquainted with : Truly Maf- dam,I fufpeel the houfe to be no better then it fliould be,
Orian* What doeft thou doubt?
jVait. Faith,I am loath to tcil it Madam.
Orid. Out withit/tis not true modefty to fear e to fpeak that thou doeft thinke. , ? \
yVAtt. I thinkcit be one of thefe fame bawdy houfes/
OH** 'Tis no matter wench, wee are warme in \t\ keeps thou thy mindc pure,and vponmy word , that name will doe thee no hurt : I cannot force my felfe yet to feare any thing'>when I do get out, He haue another encounter with my Woman Hater.Here will Ifit,Imay get fight of fomc of my friendes, it rauft needes be a comfort to them to fee snc here.
Enter Dukffionddrm^Ottnt,^^. Gond. Are wee all Efficiently difguiz'&for this houfe where (hec3ttcadesraeeais not to becvifitcdinourowa jbapes*
The Woman Hater,
touty. We arc not our felues,
Arri. I know the houfc to be finfull ynough, yet I haue bin herctofore,and dui ft now,but for difcouering ofyoo, appeare here in my ownehkenefle.
Duke. Where's Lutio ?
*4rri. My Lord, he faid, the affaires of the Common- \vealth,would notfuffcrhim to attend alwayes.
Duhi Some great ones qucftionkflc that hee will han- dle.
9 Count. Come,lct vs enter ?
Gond. See how Fortune ftriues, to reuenge my quarrel! vpon thefe women, (lice's in the window, were it not t© vndoc her,I fhould not looke vpon her,
Dh\. Lead vs Gondmno.
Gond. Stay,(ince you force me to difplay my fhame, Looke there,and you my Lord, know you mat face ? D»k: Tisfhee? Count* It is.
Gond. 'Tis fhee,whofe greatcft vertue etier was Difsimulation,fh e that ftill hath ftroue More to finne cunningly then to auoid it : She that hath euer fought to be accounted MoR vertuous,when (he did deferue moll: fcandalec 9Tis flic that itches now, and in the height Of her intcmperat thoughts, with greedy eyes Expects my comming to allay her luft: Lcaue heraforgctmec's thy filter. Count. Stay,ttay.
(Duke. I am as full of this,as thou canft be, The memory of this will cafily Hereafter (lay my loofe and wandring thoughts From any woman.
Count. This wil not downc with me,I dare not truft this fellow.
Duh£. Leaue her here, thatonely fliallbcher puniflv- iwcnt, neuer to be fetcht from hence j but let her vfe her trade to get her Uuing.
^1 H3 €<W$l
7 he Woman Hater. 1
Cwwf. Stay, good my Lordjdobelccue allthis,as great
men as I Kane had knovvne whores to their fiiten>6c hauc laught at it, I would rains hcarc how lhe talkcs,fincc fhec grew thus light : will your grace make him fhew himfelfc to her, as if hce were now come to fatisfic her longing? whilefr. we vnfecne of her,ouer-heare her wantonnes;let's make our bed: of it now wefhall haue good mirth. <Duk{DocizGoncljyiriQ.
Gcnd. I mult) fortune afsifime but this once.
Cwnt. Here we flhall (land vnfeene,and necrc ynougb. *
Goad. Madame30>Mw^.
Oria. Whofe that? O/my Lord?*
CorJ. Shall I come vp?
Otis. O you are merry ,fliall I come downe?
Gond, Ids better there.
Qyu What is the confefsion of the lye you made to the Dukc>which I fcarce beleeueyet you had impudence v- nough to do^did not gaine you fo much faith with me, as that I was willing to be at your Lo. bellowing, till you had recouered my crcdit5and confeft your felfe a lyar, as you pretended to do? I confefTe I began to fcare you, and defied to beoutof your houfe, butyourowne followers fore'd me hither*
GW.'Tis wellfufpeftcd, dilTemble ftill, for there arc fome may heare vs<
On. More trickes yet, my Lord? what houfe this is I know not5Ionly know my felfe>it were a great conqueft if you could fallen a fcandale vpon me : 'fayth my Lord^ giue me leaue to write to my brother?
0u{, Come downe.
Count* Come downe.
yfrr. If it plcafe your grace there's a backe dorc.
Count, Come meet vs there then?
®ttk. It feemes you are acquainted with the houfe.
tArr. I hauc bin in it.
Gond. She favv you,and diiTemblecL
<D#4?. Sir?wc fhallknow that better.
Goad*
The Woman Hater.
Con J* Bring me vnto heiyf I prouc her not To be a (trumpet, let me be contemn d Of all her fcx„ Exeunt. finis sAti. 4.
AcTVS V* SCBNA I. Enter Lucio.
ZwtNow whilit the young Duke follow es his delights, Wc that do meaneto praclifein the State, Muft pickc our times,and fet our faces in, And nod our heads,as it may proue moll fit For themaine good of the deare Commonwealth: Whofe within there? Enter a Serum.
Seru. My Lord?
Luc. Secretary, fetch the gownc I vfe to read petitions n;and the ftandim I anfvvcr French Letters with,and call iti the gentleman that attends : Exit Seru.
Little know they that do not deale in State, How many things there are to be obferu'd, Which fceme but little 5 yet by one of vs (Whofe braines do wind about the Commonwealth) NegleftedjC racks our credits vtterly. Enttr Gentleman Sir,but that Idoprcuiine vpon your fecrccie, a- dfirn* I would not haue appear'd to you thus ignorantly attir dc w i th ou t a tooth-pic ke in a rib ban, ora ring inmy band- firings. Cent. Your Lordfhip fent for me ?
Lpc. I did : Sir your long pra&ife in the ftatc vnder a great man hath led you to much experience.
Gent. My Lord.
Luc. Suffer not your modefty to excufe it,in fliortand in priuat I defire your direction.,! take my fhidie already to be furninSt after a graue and wife methode.
Gent. What will this Lord do ?
Ztf.My book- firings are futable & of a reaching colour. Cent. How's this?
Lncio. My Standilh of Wood ftrange and fweete, and my fore flap hangs in the right place, andasnearc MMbumeUps canbe gathered by tradition. " Cent.
The Woman Hater.
Gent. Are there fuchmen as will fay nothing abroad, , and play the fooles in their lodgings ? this Lord mud be : folio wed:and hath your Lordlhip fome new made words ; to fcatter in your fpceches in publicke, to gaine note, that the hearers may carry them away, anddifpute of them at" dinner?
Luc. I haue Sinand befides my fcueral gownes and caps agreeable to my fcuerall occafions.
Gent. 'Tis wcl,and you haue learned to write a bad hand, , that the Readers may take paines for it.
Luc. Yesfiriandlgiueoutl haue the palfie#
Graf .Good/t were better though,if you had it,your Lo, h a th a Secretary, that can write fayre, when you purpofc to be vnderftood.
Luc. Fai th fir I haue one,therc he ftands,he hath bin my fecretary this 7.yearcs,but he hath forgotten to write.
Genu If he can make a writing face, it is not amilTe,fo he keep his own counfelhyour Lo.hathno hope of the gout?
Luc. Vh, little fir, fince the paine in my right foote left inc.
G?n. 'Twill be fome fcandale to your wifdome, though I fee your Lo« knowes ynoughin publike bufinefle.
Luc. I am not imploy'de (though to my defer t)inocca- fion forraine;nor frequented for matters domefficall.
Gewf. Not frequented? what courfe takes your Lordfhip?
Luc. The readieft way,my dore ftands wide, my Secre- tary knowes I am not denied to any.
Gent. Inthis(giueme!eaue)yourLordfliipis out of the wav:make a backe dorc to let out Intelligencers$feeme to be eucrbufie,and put your dorevnder keepers, and you fliall haue a troope of clients fwcating to come atyou.
Luc, I haue a back-dore already,I will henceforth be bu- fic,fecretary run and keepe the dore. Exit Secretary.
Gent. This will fetch am ?
Luc. I h o p e fo . Enter Secretary .
Seer. My Lord, there are fome require acceffe to you a~ boutweightie affaires of ftate.
The Woman Hater.
luci. All readie. Gent. I told you fo. Luci. How waightieis the bufines. Seer. Trcafonmy Lord. Luci. Sir, my debts to you for this arc great. Gent. I will lcaueyour Lordftiip now. Luci, Sir my death mull be fudaine,if I requite you notj at the backc dore good Sir* Gant. Iwillbeyour Lordmips intelligencer for once.
Exit Gentleman 7 Enter Secretaries
Seer. My Lord.
Luci. Letam in,and fay I am at my fludie.
Enter LA\artU<tt&two Intelligencer s^Lucio icing at his fitidj.
1 . In. Where is your Lord ?
Seer. At his ftudie.but he will haue you brought in, La\a. Why Gentlemen, what will you charge mec vvithall ?
2. In, Treafon, horrible treafon, I hope to haue the leading of thee to pnfon,and prickc thee on 'ith arfe with ahalbcrt : to haue him hengd that falutcs thee, and call all thofe in quefhon that fpit not vpon thee.
La\4. My thrcd is fpunne, yet might I but call for this diih of meat at the gallous, in ftead of a Pfalme,it were to be indur'd : the Curtainc opens,now my end drawes on.
Secret arie drawes the curt aine.
Luci. Gentlemen I am not emptic of waightic ocsafi- ons at this time 5 1 pray you your bufines .
1 . In. My Lord, I thinkc wee haue difcouer d one of the moftblodieTraitors,thateucr the world held.
Luck Signior La^rillo,! am glad yc arc one of this difco- uery, giue me your hand.
2. In. My Lord chut is the Traitor..
Luci. KeepehimolKjwouldnotfor my whole eflate haue touchthim. £45. My Lord.
Luci. Peace S:r,I know the diucl is at your tongues end, to furniQi you with fpecches.? what arc the particulars ?
CI helFoman Hater.
you charge him with. They dcliuer a pApa to Luctojvfo retds.
bsth /»♦ We hatic confer'd our notes, &hauc extracted that.which we will iuftifie vpon our oathes.
Lucio. That he would bee greater then the Duke, that he had caft plots for this, and meant to corrupt Tome to betray him,that he would burne the Cittie^kill the Duke, and poyfon the priuie Councelljand laftiy kill himfelfe. Though thou deferu'ft: iuftly to bee hanged, with filencc yet I allow thee to fpeake, be fhort.
L*%*. My Lord, fo may my greatefl: wifh fucceed, So may I liue,and coaapaue what I feeke* As I had neuer trcafon in my thoughts, <Nor cuer did confpire the ouerthrow Of any creatures y but of ferutifli beads, Fowlcs j Fifhes,ajid fuch other humaine foeci As is prouided for the good of man, If ftealing Cuftards/Tarts^and Florentines By fomelate Statute be created treafon* How many fellow Courtiers can I brings Whofe long attendance3and experience,. Hath made them deeper in the plot then L
Luci. Peace, fuch hath euer beene the clemencic of my
fratiousmaiftertheDuke,mall his proceedings, that I ad thought, anchhoughtl had thought rightly* that jnallice would long ere this, hauc hid her fclfe in her den, and haue turn d her owne fling againft her owne heart: but I well now perceiue \ that fo forward is the difpofiti- On of a depraued nature; that it doth not oncly feeke re- venge, where it hath receiuediniurie; but many times thirft after their deftruction, where it hath met with bene- fits.
La\. But my good Lord — s. In* Lets s;a£o;e him.
Lucn peace againe,but many times thirit after diftru&i- on, where ithathmet with benefits* there I left : Such, &no better are the bufines, thatwehaucnow in hand,
i» fa Hcc's excellently fpoken,
& J*.
1 he Woman Hater.
In. HcelwindaTra tour I warrant farm Lffcu ButfurelymethinkcSjfetting afidethe touchof Confcience, and all other inward con vulfions. z. In. Heel be hang'd, I know by that word. L*%4* Your Lordftiip may confider-—- Ltici. Hold thy peace : thou canft not anfwere this fpeechj no Tratour can anfrverc it : but becaufe you can- not anfwere this lpcechj I take it you haue confeiled the Treafon.
i. In* The Count Ythre was the firft that difcoucred him, andean witnes it, buthee left the matter to your Lordfhips grauc confideration*
Luci. I thankc his Lordlhip, carry him away fpeedily to the Duke*
L*\4. Now L4\dtillo thoii art tumbl'd downc The hill of Fortune, with a violent arme. All plagues that can be,Famine,and thefword Will light vpon thee, blacks 1 "°}ic
In th v difptuins *>Mt,vio comfort by, Thy Friends farre off, thy emmics arc nic.
Lnc'u Away with him, He follow you, looke you pyni- on him, and take his money from Him, lcafthcfwaliow a frilling and kill himfelfe.
%4 In. Get then on before.
Ac TVS J. SC1NA. 3.
S nta the DnkA* C*mtfimAmn9»m4 sArvig.
Duk$> Now Gonijtrin*, what can you put oil now That may againe deceiue vs, Haue ye more ftrange illufions, yet more mifts, Through which the weake eye may be led to error : W^iat can ye fay that may doe fatisfaction Both for her wronged honour,and your ill?
I 2 Gov J.
The Woman Hater.
QonL All I can fay or may is faid alreadie, She is vnchaft,or elfc I haue no knowledge, Idoenotbrcath.nor hauc the vfe offence.
j)nk> Darcyebe yctfo wilfull,ignoranr, Of your ownc nakcdncs,did not your feruants la mine ownc hearing conreffe They brought her to that houfe,we found her in* Almoft by force : and with a great diftruft Of fomc enfuing hazard.
Count. He that hath begun fo worthily, It fits not with his rcfolution
Toleaucofthus : my Lords I know thefe arc but idle proues*
What fayes your Lorftiip to them ?
Gwd. Count, I dare yet pronounce again, thy Sifter is not honcft*
rotm* You are your felfmy Lord, Hike your fctef dnes.
Tjona. v^wni .1. f yonp-^and vncxpericnccdj in the darke hidden wayes of women : i nou Ji^ft affirme with confidence a Ladie of fiitcene may be a maaie.
Cm. Sir if it were not fo,Jhaue a Sifter would fctneer tny heart.
Gond. Let her fit neer her fliamc/it better fits her: call faacke the bloud that made ourftreanic in neerenefle, . and turne the Currant to a better vfe, 'tis too much mud- ded, I doc jgrecuc to know it.
Duly. Dar'ft thou make vp againe, dar'ft to turne face, Knowing wee know thcejhaft thou not beene difcouercd openly; did not our cares heare her denie thy courtings? did we not fee her bluih with modeft anger, to be fo euer- taken bv a tricke*, can ye denie this Lord ?
Gond. Had not your Grace,andhcr kind brother Beene within leuel! of her eye, You ftiould haue had a hotter volley from her More full of bloud andnre,readieto leape the window, %vhcre flic flood. • So truly feafuall is her appetite, .
Duki:
The Woman Hater.
Duke. Sir, Sir, thefe are but word es and trickes/*- lue metric proofe. ^
Count. What need a better proofe then your Lord/Lb I am fure yc haue laine with her my Lord.
Cond. I haue confeft it Sir* fDukf* I dare not giue thee credit without witnes*
Cwd. Doe's your Grace thinke, wee carry feconds, with vs, tofearch vs,and fee faireplay : your Grace hath beeneill tutordinthebufineflc; but if you hope to trie her truly, and fatisfic your felfe what frailtic is, ©iiieher the Tcft: doc not remember Count fliee is yaur Sifter) nor let my Lordc the Duke belceue fhec is fairc, but put her too'it without hope or pittie, then ycc (hall fee that gouldcn forme flic off, that all eyes wonder at for pure andfixt,and vnderic, bafeblufning copper, met- tall not worth the meaneft honnor : you fliall behold her then my Lord Tranfparcnt, lookc through her heart, anclveiwthefpirits how they leap c, and tell mcc then, I did belie the Ladic.
Duke. It fhalbe done : come Gsnddrm bear vs company, We doebslceue thee flic fhalldie,and thou flialt fee it.
Enter la\drtlloy 2. Intclligenfcrs^ndCuArd. How now my friends, whome haue ye guarded hether.
2. In. So pleafe your Grace wee haue difcoucr'd a avillaincand a Traytour: the Lord Lucio hath examind. him,and fent him to your Grace for Iudgemcnt.
Count. My Lordjdare abfoulc him From all finnc of Treafon: Iknowe his moil: ambition; is but a dilli of meate^ which a hath huntedjwith fotrcw a fent, thathee deferueth the Coller,not the Halter.
<Duhe. "Why do they bring him thus botid vp ? the poorc man had moreneede of fome warme meate, to comfone his cold Homacke,
Count. Your grace fhali haue the caufe hereafter, when when you may laugh more freely* But thefe are cal'd Informers : men thatliue by Trcafouj •as Rat-cbatchers do by poyfon.
I 3
The Woman Hater.
£*♦ Would there were no heauicr prodigies hung oucr vs, then this poorcfellowjdurftredeemc all perils ready topowre thefcluesvppon this-ftate, with acoldCuftard, On.Your grace might doit,withoutdager toy ourperfo. My Lord, if euer I intended Treafon againft your perfon, or the ftate, vnles it were by wifhing from your Table/omedifhof mcaXcj which I muft needs coa- feffc,was not a fubje&s parf.or coucting by ftealth, fupp* from thofe noble bottles, that no mouth keeping allege- ance trew,fnould dare to tail:: I muft confeffe with more then couetouseye,Ihaue bee held thofe deare conceal'd diOieSjthathauebeenbroughtin, by cunning equipage, to waite vpon your graces paliate: I do confefte out of thisprefent hcat,I hauc had ftratagcmes,& ambufcadoes : but God be thanked they hauc neuer tooke,
(Du\c. Count,this bufines is your ownej when you hauc done,repaire to vs. Exit Dt*kg.
Conn. I will attend your grace: Ld^drello, you are at li- bcrtie,be your o wne man againe*, and if ye can be maiftcr of your wiflies,I wifti it may be fo,
La\* I humbly thanke your Lordflbip : I muft bee vn- manerly,I hauc fomc prefent bufines,oncemoreI hearti- 3ic thanke your Lordfhip ♦ Exit La\mlh.
Cwut. Now euen a word or two to you,and fo fareweH you think you haue deferud much of this ftate, by thisdif- couerie:y'are a flauifh people,grownefubjectto the com- mon courfe of all men. How much vnhappie were that noble fpirite, could worke by fuchbafergaines ? what mi- fery would not a knowing man put on, with willingnes, ere he fee him felfe gro wne fat and full fed,by fall of thofe you rife by? I do difcharge ye my attendancejour health- full ftate ncedes no fuch Leeches to fuck out her bloud.
i Intel. I do befeech your Lordfhip. Int. Good niy L* Count. Go learne to be more honeft, whe I fee you worke your meanes from honeft induftrie, Exeunt Informers* Twill be willing to accept your labors: Till then I will keepe backemy promift fauours: Heerc comes an other remnant of folly : Enter Lucie.
9 I muft
The Woman Hater.
I mufl difpatch him too* Now Lord hmp> what bunnei bring you hy the
Luao. Faith Sir, I am difcouering what will become of that notable piece ofTrcafon,cntended by riaat varlct La~ I haue fenthim to the Duke for judgment.
Cennt. Sir you haue performed the part of a moff care- full dates-man, and let me fay it to your face, Sir of a Fa- ther to this ftate :I would wii!iyoutoretyre,and infeonce year fclfe in ftudic : for fuch is your dayly labor ,and our feare,thattheloiTe ofanhourc may breed our ©uerthrow.
Luci§ Sir I will be comaunded by your judgement, and though I find it a trouble fcant to be waded through, by thefe wcakeyearej,yet for the dearc care of the Com- mon-wealth, I will brufe nay brayncs,and cofinc my fclfc to much vexation.
C<w»r.Goe,and mayeftthou knockc downe Trcafon like anOxe. Luci*. Amen. Exeuxi Enter Mmtr&imitYji! randan a.
Tdtr. Haue I fpoke thus much in the honor of learning ? learn d the names of the feue libcrall Sciences * before my manage*, &fince,haue in haft* written Epiftles congratula- rVjtothcp.MufesiScis llicproud a whore & a Beggar?
fan, Tis true, you are not now to be taught, that no man can be learn d of ^afuddaine* let not your nrft proicct dif* courage you,what you haurioft in this.you may gct.againc inAlcuraic.
Iran. Fcarc nothusband,I hope to make as good a wife, as the beft of your neighbours haue,and as honeft.
Mer. I will go home*, good fir do notpublifli this, as log asit run's amogft our fciues*, 'tis good honeft mirth : youl come hoc to fuppertf meane to haue al her friends & mine as ill as it goes. VAv. Do wifely fir, & bid your ownfneds, your whole wealth wil fcarc cfcaft all her$,neither is it for your ccdit,to walke the ftreets,with a woman fo noted., get you homeland piouidc her cloathcsdet her come an houre hece with ankad-basket & fhift her felfe, fiiel ferae to fit at the vppcr end of the Table, & drink to your cuftomcrs.
?/kr. Ar te
The Woman Hater.
fttrn Arte is juR,and will make me a mendes.
fp4». No doubt Sin .
The chiefe note of a Scholler you lay, is to go- ucrnc bis pafsions-, wherefore I do take all; patiently, if* figne of %vhicli my mod dcarc wife , 1 do kiffe thee : make haft home after me, I (hall be in my Studie. £xif
f an. Goe, a vaunt,my new Citie damc/end mee what you promifed me for confideration and may it thou prooue a Lady. .
Sun. Thoii malt haue it,his filkcs (hall Aye for %U
Enter L*\*nlU and his Boy Exeunt
Layrelk How fwcetis a calme after atemgeft,whac is there no we that canftand betwixt mee and rehcmc-U haue gon through all my erodes conftatly* haue contowU cd my cnimies,and know where to haue my longings fa- tiffied-, I haue my way before me, there is the dorc, and i my freely walke into my delights, knocke Boy*
folia. Who's their? within
Ux. Triads my loue, not guiltie * not guiltie, open the
dore. Emr
lulia Art thou come fvveet heart?
U7V Yes to thy foft imbraccs,andthereftof my ouer- flowmgbhiTesjcomelctvsinandfwime inour delights : a Ciort grace as we goe, and fo to meat.
Itt/u.^Nay my dcarc loue,you muft bcarc with mee in thisjwe'le to the Church firft.
La\*. Shall I be furc of it then,
luli a By my loue you mail.
La%. IamcoRtentjforldo nowwifhtohouldoff loag- er, to whet my appetite, and doe defiirc to meet with more troubles,(b I might conqucre them* A nd as a holy louer that hath fpent The tedious night,with many afigh and tearen WhiFfl: he purfu d his wench : and hath obferuM The fmiles,and frownes,noc daring to diipleafej . When atlaft, hath with his feruice wone Her yeekling heart} that £he begins to dote
Vpo.'v
The Woman Hater.
Vpon hir»,and can hold not longer out,
But hangs about hisiiecke,and woes him more
Then cuer he dcflrd her louc before:
Then begins to flatter his defert,
And growing wanton.ncedcs will cafther off*
Trieher,pickc cjuarrels,to breed frcfli delight,
And co increafe his pleafing appetite.
lul. Come Moufe,will you walke?
L*\. I pray thee let me bee deliuercd of the joy X am fa big with-, I doc feelc that high heat within me, that I begm to doubt whether 1 be mortal!? How I contemnemy iellowes in the Court, With wbom I did but ycfterday conuerfe, And in a lower and an humbler key Did walke^and meditate on groflcr meates: There are they ftillpoorcrogucSjfliaking their chops, And fneaking after cheefes,and doe runne Headlong in chafe of eucry jackc of B cere That crolTeth thcm,in hope of fome rcpat\ That it will bring them to*,whilft I am here, The happicft wight,that eucr fct his tooth To a dcare nouelticrapproch my loue, Come let s goe to knit the true louci knot, Thatneucr can be broken.
May . That is to marry a whore. 7 ld\. When that is donc,thc» will we tafte the gift, Which Fates haue fent,my fortunes vp to lift,
B$y. When that is done, youl begin to repent , vpon a fullftomackc}butIfcc/tisbuta formcin dcftiny,notto tcalter'd. Exeunt inter dnig^dnd Oridnd.
Oridtf. Sir,whatmay be thecurrant ofyour bwfincs,that thus you finglc out your time and place?
drrig. Madame , the bufinefle nowc impos'd vpon «ie,concerncs you nccrelyjl wifhfomc worfer man might finifliit.
or. Why are y c chang'd iohxc ye not well fir ?
^ K jr. Ye*
7 he Woman Hater.
Z&r. Ycj madam,I am well, wo'd you were fb." Orriati. Why fir? I feele my felfc in perfeft health. iAtr. And yet ye cannot hue long>madam. Oria. Why good jfrrigo ? +drr. Why,yemuft die.
Oria. I know I mu&but yet my fate calls not vponme. Atr. It does*, this hand the Duke coramandes jfhaligiue you death*
On tan. HeaucB, and the powers diuine , guard well the innocent.
4rr. Lady,your praicrs may doc your foule fome good, That fure your body cannot mcrrit by vm: Yon mud prepare to die. (mittcd,
Orian. What's my offence? what haue thefcyearcs coaa- That may be dangerous to the Duke or State? Haue I confpir'd by poyfonrhauc Igiu nvp My honour to fome loofe vafccfd blood That may giuc aclion to my plots ? Dcare firjet me not die ignorant of my faults?
*A\y. Ycfballnot. Then Lady,you muft know, you arc held vnhonefV, The Dukc,your brother,and your friends in court, With too much griefe condemnc ye: though to nac, Th c fault defcrues not to be paid with death.
Qrtan. Who is my accufer ?
*Ari\ Lord Gondarino. (Duke, Oyxah. <Am*o.takc thefe wordes , and bcarc them to the It is the laft petition I lliall aske thee: Tell him the child,this prefent houre broughtforth To fee the world, ha's not a foule more pure , more white, More virgin then I hauc.Tell him Lord Goxdarinoes Plot,Ifufferfor,and willinglyitclhimithad bina^reater honour, to haue fau a then kifd : but I haue done :1trike, I am arm5d for licauen. Why ftay you ? is there any
drr. Iwouldnotftrike.
Qrian. Haue you the power to faus ?
The Woman Hater.
Arr. With hazzard of my life , if it fliould be tnownc^
Oridn. You will not venture that?
Arr. I will:Lady,therc is that means yet to cfcape youir <Ieath,ifyou can wifely apprehend it.
Oridn. Ye dare not be fo kind
Arr. I darc,and will,ifyou dare but deferue it#
Oridn. If 1 fliould flight my life,! were too blame*
Arr. Then madam, thisisthekicancs,orclfcyoudic;f t >uc you,
Oridn. I fhall bclceue it,if you fauc my life.
*Airr. And you mufllic with me.
Orian. I dare not buy my life fo.
Atr. Coraeyemuflrcfoluc,fay ycaorno.
Oridn. Then nomay looke n^t ruggedly vponnic, I am made vp too ftrong,to fcarc fuch lookes* Cornc,doe yoar Butcher! part: before I would win life, with tliedeare loiTc of honour^I dare fiadc meancs to free my felfc.
Arr. Speake/vill ye yeeld ?
Oridn. Vi{l?.me,Iwilinotjmurdcrer doethy worft, thy bale vnaoble thoughts dare prompt thee to ; I am abouc
thecflaL'.e.
Arr. Will thou not be drawne to ycild by fairc perfwa*
Cons? Oridn. Noaorby —
Arr. Peacc5know your doom then*,your Ladifhipmuf* rcmeber,you are not now at home , where you dare ieafi at all that come about you : but you arc fallen vnder my mcrcic,which frialbe fmal: if thou rcfufc to yeeld, hcarc what Ihaucfworn vnto my felfcjl willinioy thee, though itbetwecnctiie parting ofthyfoulc and body. Yield ycc and liue.
Oridn. He guard the one, let heauens guard thctother. Ar. Are ye fo refolute then^ Vuk^fro ^«r.Hold,hold,I fay.
Orid. What hatic Ityetmorc terror to my tragedy ?
Arr. Lady,the fceneof blood is doncjyc arc now as free fr om fc and al ,as from d ; a th .
The Woman Hater.
Enter DukfyCount^ndGonJurino, (rertuej Dtik* Thou woman which wcrt borne to teach men Fairc,fwcct,and modeft maid forgiue my thoughts, My trefpas was ray louc.Seize Qmdmno, let him wait our 4oomes.
Gond4 I doc begin a little to loue this woman-,1 could in- dure her already twelue miles off.
Count. SiftcrJ am glad you hauc brought your honour offfo faircly,without lofTe: you hauc done a worke abouc your fexe,the Duke admires it •> giuc him faire encounter.
Duk* Bert of all comfortsjmay I take this hand, and call
Oria. I am your Graces handmaid. (it mine I
&nk. Would ye had fed myfelfcrmightitnotbcfo Lady?
Count. Sifter,fay 1:1 know ye can affoard it.
Orian. My Lord,I am your fubieft, you may command me^prouided ftill.your thoughts be faire and good,
Vu. Here, I am yoursjand when 1" ccafe to be fo> Let heauen forget me:thus I make it goo d.
Oru My Lordjlamnomoremineow.ae.
Count t Sorthisbargaincwas welldriuefi.
Goni. Dukc3thou haft fold away thy feife t© all perdi- tionjthou art this prefenthourc becomraing cuckoldanc thinkes I fee thy gaule grate through thy veincs , and jea- loufic fcizc thee with her talents : I kno we thac womans nofc mull be cut offyhce cannot fcape it.
Duk- Sr,we hauc punifhment for you. Or. I doc befecch your Lordfhip,for the wrongs>?this mi hath done me,lct me pronounce his punifhmc at.
Duk; Lady,Igiuetoyou,heisyourowne.
Gon, Idocbcfeechyourgraccjetmcbebani/it with al the fpeed that may be.
Count. Stay ftill, you ftall attend her festence.
OHAn. Lord Gondmno , you hauc wrouofd me highly* yetfinccitfprungfromno peculiar hate tome,butfrom » gencrall ckflike vnto all women , you ftall thus fuffcr for tf^m^call infomc Ladies to afsjft vs ; will your Grace Sake your Stat^ J
The Woman Hater.
|T6#*. My Lord I doc bcfccch your Grace for any p*^ niflimcnt fauing this woman, let me bee fent vpon cliic©- uervof fome Ifland, I doe defirc but a fmall Gundcle, with tennc Holland Checfes,andilc vndertakcit,
Orid. Siryemuft bee content, will yefitdownc ?nay doc it willingly. *4rnig# tie his armes clofe to the chaire, I dare not truft his patience.
Goud* Mai'ft thou be quickly old and painted \ wai'ft thou dote vpon forne fturdy Yeoman of the wood-yard e, and -he be honcft mai'ft thou be bar'd the lawfull lechery of thy Coach for want of Inftruments \ and lafl3bec thy 7;0rnbcvnopend.
Jbukt. This fcilo w hath a prety gaule.
Count. My LordJ hope to fee him purged ere apart,
Enter LdJics.
Oria, Tour Ladifliips are welcome : I muft defirc your helpes^though you ftrc no phifition^ to doc a ftrange cure vpon this Gentleman.
Lddies In wnat we can afsift ye Maddam,ye may com- maund vs.
Qtnd. Now do I fit like a Coniurcr within my circle, and thefe the Diucls that are rau d about mcc,I will pray that they may haue no power vpon me.
Orid. Ladies fall off in couples, then with afoft ftill march with low demeanures, charge this Gentleman: ile be your leader.
G$nd. Let me be quarter d Duke quickly, I can endure it:thefc women long for mans fleftijet them haue it.
Dukf. Count, haue youeuer fcenefo ftrange a pafsion* what would this fellow doe, if a fhouldfind himfelfc in bed withayong Ladic?
Count. Faith my Lord, if a cou d get a knifc,furc a wo'd cutherthrotc,orelfca wo'ddocas H<ychUs did by Ljftd4% fwing out her fouic : has the true hate of a w oma in him.
Orid. Low with your curfcyes Ladies .
GontL Come not too necrc mc,I haue a breath will poy- foayce, my lungs arcroctcen, and my ftoraack ra we* I
K | am
The Woman Hater.
am giuen much to belching: hold off, as you louefweet aires-, Ladies by your firft nights pleafurc, I coniurc you, as you wo'd hauc your husbands proper men, ftrong backes, and little legges, as you would haue'um hate your waiting women.
OrU. Sir we muft court ycc till wee hauc obtain d fome little fa uour from thefc gracious cy cs,tis but a kis a peccc.
Qdnd. I pronounce perdition to ye all', ye areaparcell of that damned Crew, thatfell downewith Lucifer, and here ycc fhyd on earth, to plague poorc men-, vanifli, a- uaunt, I am fortified againft your chariness heauen grant tnc breath and patience.
1 . Lddj. Shall we not kiflcthen ?
G*nd. No, iearc my lips with hot irons firft, or flitck them vp like a Ferrets : O that this brunt were oucr.
*. Ltd. Comc,come:littlc rogue, thou art too maidenly by my trethj I thinkc I muft boxc thee, till thou bec'ft feoulder^ the more bold, the more welcome: I prethee kis me, be not afraid ? She* fits $» bis k*M*
GsnJ. If there bee any here, that yet hauc fo much of the foole left in them,as tolouethcir Mothers, let them lookc on hcr,and loath them too.
2. Ltd. What a floucnly little villainc arc thou, why doft thou not flxoke vp thy haire? I thinkc thou nc re comb'ft-it : I muft hauc it lie in better orders fo, fo, fo, let we fee thy hands,arc they wafht ?
Gmd. I would they wcrcloofe for thy fake. Dh({c She tortures him admirably. Count. The bed that euerwas*
ft « Lad. Alas how cold they arc poorc golls, why do'ft thec not get thee a muffc ?
jfwi. M addam,her*s an old Country gentlewoman at the doore.that came nodding vp for Iufticc,Qie was with the Lord Gwddnnt to day, and would now againc conac? tothefpecchofhinv, frefayes.
Orid* Let her in, for fports fake, let her in.
&9nd. Mcrcic O Duke, Idocappealc to thee: plant
i w yv oman naver.
Cannons there, and difcharge them againft my breft ra- ther : nay firft, let this fhee furie fit (till where flice do's, and with her nimble fingers ftroakc my haire, play with my fingers endes, or anything, vntillmy panting heart haue brokcniy breft.
Eh^. You muft abid e her cenfure.
The La Jit rifesfrom his hpec. Inter eld Gentleytomtn.
Qond. Ifeehercomc,vnbuttonmcc/orfhc wilfpeakc.
Geutlrpr. Where is hce Sir ?
Gond. Sauemec,Iheareher.
*Arrit There he is in (late, to giue you audience.
Gertilew. How doc s your good Lordftiip >
G<md. Sickeofthcfplccnc,
Centlew*. How ?
€ond. Sickc,
Gentle*. Will you chew a Nutmeg, you {hall not r«- fufe it, tis very comfortable.
GW. Nay now thou art come, I know it is the Diuck • Iubilc,helljs broke loofe: My Lord, If cucrl haue done you feruicc, Orhauedeferu'dafauourofyofirGracc, Let nie be tumd vpon Tome prefent A £tion, Where I may fooncr die,thcn languifh thus*, Your Grace hath her pctition,grant it her, and cafe owe now atlaft.
Duke. No Sir, you muft endure.
Gentlew. For my petition, I hope your Lord/hip hath rcmembrcd me.
Ojm. Faith I begin to pittie him, *Ar\']g take her off, bcarc her away, fay her petition is granted .
Gentler. Whether doe you draw meSir?I know ir is not my Lords plcafurc 1 {hould be thus vfed, before my bu* fines be difpatched?
+4m. You (hall know more of that without.
Orid. Vnbind him Ladies, but before he goe,this hee foal promifc'jfor the louc I beare to our own lex, I would fc*uc them itill hated by thee, andinioync thee as a pu-
aiftmcnt
The Woman Hater.
ai/hmct, ncuer heraftcr willingly to come in the pretence •r fight of any woman, nor ncutrto feekc wrongfully thepublikc difgrace of any.
GnJ. Tis that I would haue fworne, and doe: when I meddle with them, for their good, or their baddc* may Time call back this day againc, and when I come in their companies, may I catch tnepoxe, by their breath, and haue no other pleafure for it*
8*k$. YcaretoomercifuH.
0rt4. My Lord, I fliew'd my fexe the better .
Cmtf. All is •ucr-blownc Sifter, y arc like to haue a faire night of it, and a Prince in your armes : lets goe my LorcL (gricfe*
SHtkf. Thus through the doubtfull Streams of loy mi True louc d#th wadc.aad finds nihil rclccfe.
MM<tmt Qmmu
MAY 1 S iy^u